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A new look at the old year (standard:humor, 905 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Dec 27 2010Views/Reads: 1209/653Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
From a practical standpoint, and if I am anything I am practical, well, practically, this year has gone by rather quickly. The fact I have survived this past year has to count for something.
 



From a practical standpoint, and if I am anything I am practical, well,
practically, this year has gone by rather quickly. The fact I have 
survived this past year has to count for something. 

I was musing on this with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage just
the other day. I was feeling rather comfortable with myself and was 
congratulating myself on making it through another year. After all, the 
facts speak for themselves. 

"Well," my wife began rather deliberately, "I guess you did survive the
year." 

"What in the world is that supposed to mean," I queried. I must say I
was a little agitated by the tone of her voice. After all, I did 
survive the year. 

It was quiet for a few moments and then she said, "What about your New
Year's resolutions?" 

I informed her I was working on a brand-new set of New Year's
resolutions for the coming year. I think it's rather important to jot 
down a few things you would like to do, maybe some improvements you 
would like to make or maybe something I should like to give up for the 
New Year. 

"That's not what I mean." 

I looked at her quizzically not really understanding what she was
talking about. 

"What about the New Year's resolutions for this year." And she looked at
me with one of those looks. 

You do not have to hit me with a baseball bat for me to understand
what's going on, although sometimes it does help. To be quite truthful 
I had not thought of those New Year's resolutions, well, for the whole 
year. 

"Would you like me to recite the New Year's resolutions you made last
year?" 

Oh boy. I saw a news story the other day about people who could remember
every day of their life in minute detail. I do not know how that feels, 
but I do know how it feels to live with someone who can remember every 
detail of my life. 

I have a photographic memory; the problem is I have been out of film for
three decades. 

It got me to thinking about my New Year's resolutions for this year. I
must say that after looking at this list I did not fare too well. 

I had resolved to improve my diet and lose some weight. Fortunately, I
did not put down how much weight I proposed to lose. I did lose 1 pound 
974 times but it always found its way home. I spent some time in 
Michigan this past summer and just as I was leaving, I threw a pound 
out the window and hurried on. By the time I got home to Florida that 
pound was waiting for me at the front door munching on an Apple 
fritter. What's a person to do? 

Also, another item on my New Year's resolution list was, "I resolve not
to work harder but smarter this coming year." At the time, I thought it 
was a very brilliant thing to say. And, don't get me wrong, it is. 

I have mastered the part of not working harder, but the smarter aspect
of that resolution eluded me. Whose definition of smarter should apply 
here? Certainly, I will not appeal to my wife's idea about smarter. She 
has an altogether different concept of this whole area of working 
smarter. 

My only consolation is that my definition of the subject is, it is
always smarter not to work harder. If we apply that definition to my 
New Year's resolution, I passed with flying colors. 

Then my good wife reminded me of another part of my New Year's


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