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Finding a cure for textaholics (standard:humor, 905 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Aug 20 2011Views/Reads: 1258/746Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Recently, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly upgraded our lives with cell phones. Up to this time, I just assumed the cell phone was what a prisoner used.

Recently, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly
upgraded our lives with cell phones. Up to this time, I just assumed 
the cell phone was what a prisoner used. 

My wife and I drug our feet for a long time until we finally took the
plunge. Both of us finally went to the cell phone store and signed up 
for cell phone service. She picked out a phone for her and then picked 
up another phone and turned to me and said, "I think this will suit 

I learned long ago that when my wife is "thinking," I should not
interrupt the phenomenon. 

I must say she did not hog the whole experience of purchasing cell
phones. She rather graciously allowed me to pull out my checkbook and 
write a check for our cell phone service. I wrote that check and signed 
it with a smile not knowing what I was really doing. 

I have found not knowing what I am doing really is a very peaceful part
of my life. There is no stress when you do not know what you are doing. 
However, when you have some idea what you are doing, then comes the 
stress. I must admit, most of my life is stress free. 

Now, that we have upgraded our lifestyle, life has become rather easy
for us. 

I really did not know how the simple act of signing up for cell phone
service would so drastically change our life. There is something with 
our service called texting. I have heard of this of course, but I had 
no idea what it was all about. But I was shortly to discover the bliss 
of the world of texting. 

Not long after we purchased our cell phone service we were at a
restaurant celebrating our wedding anniversary. Yes sir, 40 years ago 
we tied the knot and we have had a wonderful time together. Oh sure, 
there have been those "knotty" situations, but overall everything has 
held together. That sure was a tight knot we tied back in the day. 

We were celebrating at a certain restaurant and my wife needed to go to
the lady's room for whatever ladies do in the lady's room. While she 
was gone, the waitress came to take our drink order. Even though I have 
been blissfully married for 40 years, I never take it on my own to make 
decisions for my better half. I have not had enough practice making 
decisions for my half. So, when the waitress asked for her drink order 
I did not quite know what she wanted. 

Then it dawned on me. I will text her. After all, isn't that why we got
this cell phone service in the first place? So I text her and ask her 
what she wanted me to order her for her drink. 

Within a very short time, my cell phone buzzed and I looked at her text.

I looked at the waitress who was looking rather strangely at me, and
said to her, "My wife will have coffee." 

This was just the beginning of the textualization of our formal blissful
relationship. We really do not have to talk anymore; we can just text 
each other, which cuts down on the shouting. 

Just the other night I was sitting in my easy chair reading a book and a
text message came on my cell phone. I picked it up and looked at the 
text message and it said, "Can you come to the bedroom immediately." 
Not knowing what opportunities awaited I rushed into the bedroom. 

There my wife was on one side of the bed and said to me, "Help me turn
this mattress over." 

We were at the mall together and we usually go to different stores. My
cell phone rang and a text message came, "Where are you?" 

I immediately text back, "Right behind you." 

A text message returned quickly saying, "Oh, I thought you were lost." 

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