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Uutz (standard:humor, 2713 words)
Author: Bob KainAdded: Sep 17 2000Views/Reads: 2753/1268Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
My first day alone with my 2 year old son....
 



Uutz 

by Bob Kain 

"Okay, I'm leaving now.   I put a couple of sippy cups of juice in the
fridge.   There's some hot dogs in there too.  Or he might want a 
baloney sandwich; maybe peanut butter and jelly.   Don't forget to give 
him some fruit.  He loves fruit.   Cookies are in the cupboard over the 
microwave, but don't let him have too many; and not too close to 
lunchtime.  If you let him fill up on junk he won't eat his lunch.  
Diapers are in the powder room.  Don't forget to check to see if he 
needs changed once in a while, all right?  If you go outside, make sure 
you put his hat on him.  It's windy out and I don't want him getting an 
ear infection." 

"Sesame Street comes on at 8:30, Blues Clues is on at 11:00.  I hate
that he's starting to like television so much.  Don't want him getting 
addicted to that stuff.  Don't let him watch anything other than those 
two shows.  If you let him, he'll sit in front of that thing all day.  
Put him down for his nap around 2:00.  If you let him go to sleep 
earlier, he'll sleep for 20 minutes and then he'll be up and won't go 
back to sleep." 

"Now, what am I forgetting?  Oh, yeah...remember to take the dogs out
sometime.   Let me see...anything else?  Oh, God...I'm so late.  I have 
to go.  Have a good time.  Watch after Logan.  Give me a kiss, Hon. I 
should be back by 3:30.  Logan, honey, give Mommy a kiss.  Mommy loves 
you sweetie.  Be a good boy for Daddy.  I am really late...I'm leaving 
now.  Bye, bye guys.  Have a good time." 

That whirlwind was my wife, Trace.  She was going shopping for the day
with a friend.  This would be the first time that I had been entrusted 
with the care of our two-year old son, Logan, for more than two hours 
at a time.  Needless to say, Trace was just a bit nervous about the 
whole thing. 

"Well, Buddy, Mommy's gone.  It's just us men.  What do you think we
should do?" 

"Uutz." 

Uutz was Logan's favorite word.   That one word covered almost any
situation he might encounter or any question we might ask him.   When 
accompanied by pointing or some other gesture, we could usually 
decipher what he was telling us.  This time he took my hand and led me 
to the kitchen. 

"Uutz", he said again, pointing to the cupboard over the microwave. 

"Oh, you want a cookie"?  I asked. 

"Uutz", he moved closer to the kitchen counter, arm outstretched, finger
aimed directly at the cookie cupboard.  Well, it was almost 8:30 and 
Sesame Street would be on in a few minutes.  Couldn't expect a guy to 
watch television without a little snack.  What could it hurt?  Opening 
the cupboard I took out the 'Nilla Wafer box, removed three cookies and 
held them out to Logan. 

"What do you say?   Can you say thank you?" 

"Uutz." 

"All right, good boy!  Sesame Street is on, Buddy.  Do you want to go
watch TV?"  As the last word was still forming on my tongue, he ran 
from the kitchen into the family room, crawled up on the sofa, removed 
the remote from between the cushions where we hid it so he couldn't 
find it, and pressed the on button.  As Bert and Ernie appeared on the 
screen, Logan sat back on the sofa and bit into his first cookie.  His 
eyes glued on the television screen, he chewed steadily on his cookie 
until the first one was gone.   As I settled onto the sofa beside him, 
he momentarily took his eyes from the TV, looking at me. 

"Uutz." 

"What?   You have cookies.  Sesame Street is on.  What do you want,


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