ROGER'S FABULOUS VOYAGES, PART 2, CHAPTER 2. (standard:humor, 972 words) [2/12] show all parts
Author: Danny Zil	Added: Jun 11 2012	Views/Reads: 2085/1447	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Roger gets captured on the way to New Earth and taken to a planet called Uhuruland.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

“Excuse me,” Roger said petulantly, “would you mind not calling me
Whitey?” 

“What the hell!?” exclaimed the voice. 

“Whitey. You just called me Whitey,” Roger explained. “I'd prefer it if
you called me Roger or Roger White or even Captain although sometimes 
Keith from the Astronomers Society calls me RW but that's just sort of 
fun between friends though.” 

“Is this dude for real, man!?” a second voice asked incredulously. “What
is all this shit? Ah mean, who gives a goddamn what this muthas name 
is?” 

“I think I can assist here, gentlemen,” Boy Paddy said in his suave
velvety voice. “You see, much earlier I was calling him Rog and he gets 
a bit touchy about it. Now you chaps come along and start calling him 
Whitey and--” 

“Enuff o' this shit!!” yelled the first voice. “You cats shut the fuck
up an lissen good.” 

“He's on about cats again,” Roger whispered. 

“Ssshhh!” Boy Paddy advised. 

“Ma name is Cap'n Vernon an the other dude with me's Gunner Niggets.
We's from the planet Uhuruland,” the voice told them. 

“Yeah, you trespassin in Uhuruland air space,” Gunner Niggets added, “so
we takin you prisoner.” 

“That's right, bro. Tell them like it is.” 

“Right on, Cap'n,” replied the Gunner. 

There followed the sounds of what appeared to be hands slapping a few
times. 

“So like Ah says earlier,” Cap'n Vernon resumed, “we has you surrounded
so reduce speed an doan't be trying no shit.” 

Roger frowned. “How many Ships do you have?” he asked. 

“What the hell you talkin bout, whitey. It's just us here.” 

“Well technically you can't actually have us surrounded then, can you?”
Roger said smugly. 

Cap'n Vernon lost patience. “Right, dats it! Fire a warnin shot across
they bows!” 

“Okay Cap'n,” said Gunner Niggets. 

“Shields up!” Boy Paddy announced. 

Roger's Ship was slightly rocked as the laser shot deflected off their
Shields. 

“You cats get the fuckin message now?!” Cap'n Vernon asked. Roger
nodded. “We cats got the message,” he replied. “Decrease speed,” he 
ordered. “Speed decreasing to pretty slow,” Boy Paddy told him. 

“Good. Now we takin you to Uhuruland,” said Cap'n Vernon. “Take you to
meet Big Lucas.” 

Roger nodded. “Well that doesn't sound too bad,” he said. 

Cap'n Vernon and Gunner Niggets hee-hawed at this statement. 

“Okay whitey, let's go,” Cap'n Vernon ordered. 

“Right, shall we follow you then?” Roger asked. 

“Na. You cats move in front so we can keep an eye on yous.” 

Roger frowned. “Okay, which way?” 

“Ha! Think Ah's tellin you that, whitey?” 

“But that's just silly,” Roger said, stamping his foot. “How do we know
which way to go then?” 

There followed a short muttering conversation between Cap'n Vernon and
Gunner Niggets. 

Eventually the Cap'n came back on. “Okay whitey – lissen up. Since you
not knowin where Uhuruland is, you follow us. But remember – Gunner 
Niggets be coverin you. You try an escape an he gives you the full 
laser treatment. An IAh doan't mean removing no tattoos. You dig?” 

“I dig,” Roger said. “Dig what?” he muttered. “The garden? Out here in
space?” 


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