ROGER'S FABULOUS VOYAGES, PART 3, CHAPTER 8. (standard:humor, 1734 words) [8/10] show all parts
Author: Danny Zil	Added: Jun 18 2012	Views/Reads: 1937/1487	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Roger is 'tortured' by the SS.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

“Good because I don't want you to miss this.” He picked up the electric
prod and switched it on. He touched the metal desk with the tip and 
there was a blue flash and some black smoke drifted up to the ceiling. 

Roger recoiled in horror. 

“We're going to knock this nonsense out of you,” the Kapitan told him.
“This saying things you don't want to.” He glanced at Rolf and Herman. 
“Begin the treatment,” he ordered. 

“Wait, wait, I've got something to say!” Roger squeaked. 

They waited. 

“Come up and see me sometime,” he began. 

The Kapitan frowned. 

“I'll have nothing on but the radio!” he finished. 

“Enough!!” the Kapitan yelled. “Begin!!” 

Roger hid his face behind his hands and started moaning. “Give me
another chance,” he begged. “It's not my fault, really.” 

Rolf and Herman ignored his pleading and moved towards him. 

“Come on you little jerk,” rasped Rolf. 

“Little bastard,” rasped Herman. 

“Please, please, give me another chance. I can't--” 

Rolf and Herman moved past Roger, went round the desk and grabbed the
Kapitan. 

“Oh treat me roughly!” he pleaded. “Rip my shirt!” begged Kapitan Kurt. 

“...control what I'm saying,” Roger finished and watched from between
his fingers with widening eyes. 

Rolf and Herman ripped Kapitan Kurt's shirt, dragged him over to the
wall and manacled him to a couple of the hooks. Rolf picked up the 
electric prod, switched it on and touched his bare back. 

“Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!” the Kapitan yelled delightedly. 

Rolf and Herman looked at each other and shook their heads in disgust. 

“Oooohhhh!”  screamed Kapitan Kurt in pleasure as the prod touched him
again. “More! More!” 

Roger couldn't believe his luck. Relief flooded through him and his
testicles came out of hibernation. 

“More!” yelled Kapitan Kurt in ecstasy. “The whip! The whip too!” 

Herman took a small whip from his belt and shrugged. He lashed the
Kapitan half-heartedly across his back. 

“Harder!” Kapitan Kurt slobbered. 

Herman complied. 

“Ooohhhh that's better! Oh the whip! Live for it, live for it! Live for
the whip!” 

After five minutes whipping and prodding, Kapitan Kurt was un-manacled.
He stretched luxuriously whilst Rolf patted his back with a warm towel 
then he put on a clean shirt and his uniform jacket. He took out his 
wallet and extracted some money. 

“Same time tomorrow, Kameraden?” he asked, handing Rolf and Herman some
notes. 

“Jawohl Herr Kapitan!” they replied, pocketing the money, saluting and
leaving. 

“Ah, I enjoyed that,” Kapitan Kurt remarked, settling gingerly into his
chair. “Oh, how rude of me – would you like some of the treatment?” he 
enquired of Roger. 

The offer was politely declined. 

“Never mind. Not everybody enjoys it. Now where were we? Ah yes, you
said earlier that Adolf Hitler had been a bastard. Care to expand on 
that?” 

“Well, he was, “Roger began cautiously. “Just a bit.” 

“Hmmm. He could be a bitch at times,” Kapitan Kurt conceded. “But he
wasn't all bad. A greatly misunderstood chap in fact. He had a lot of 
good points you know.” 

“Such as?” the emboldened Roger asked sceptically. 

“Well, he was very good with his Great Aunt Helga.” “His Great Aunt
Helga? Who was she?” 

“Lovely old woman,” Kapitan Kurt mused, “or so I read. Her family name
survives to this day. One of her descendants gave me this,” he said, 
holding up his finger. 

“What, that ring?” 

“No this,” Kapitan Kurt said, pointing to his duelling scar. “Lovely
family.” 

“So what did Hitler do for his Great Aunt Helga that made him such a
good chap?” Roger asked. 

“He made a lot of sacrifices for her. For instance, there was a
situation way back during World War Two. Did you ever read about the 
Second World War?” 

“A bit,” Roger replied. 

“Well this situation happened just after Dunkirk when Germany was poised
to invade Britain. It would have changed the entire course of the war. 
We would have defeated Britain and the rest of their Allies would have 
capitulated. Germany would then have adopted its rightful place – as 
ruler of planet Earth.” 

“So what happened?” 

Kapitan Kurt sighed. “Adolf got a letter from Helga. Said she was
feeling a bit off and could he come and see her and maybe take her away 
somewhere for a couple of weeks.” 

“And did he?” 

“Of course. He left the entire German Army poised on the edge of the
Channel and rushed off to take care of Helga.” 

“You mean the Germans lost their advantage of winning the war and thus
ruling the planet because Hitler went on holiday with Helga?” 

Kapitan Kurt nodded. “That's correct. Then when he returned Germany had
lost its fantastic position. So you see, he wasn't as bad as he's been 
made out to be.” 

Roger considered this. “Well what about those millions of people who
were killed on his orders?” he asked. 

Kapitan Kurt looked a bit uncomfortable. “Oh that.” 

“What d'you mean, ‘Oh that?'” 

“Well it was just...just...it was just high spirits, that's all.” 

“High spirits!?” Roger mocked. “Don't be ridiculous!” 

Kapitan Kurt fiddled with the crossed whips insignia on his uniform
jacket. “Okay, I'll be honest. There was more to it than high spirits. 
Look, you seem to be an understanding sort of chap so I'll tell you the 
real reason. It's top secret.” 

“Alright, so why did he do it?” 

Kapitan Kurt hesitated. “It was a cry for help,” he said finally. 

“A cry for help!” Roger said incredulously. “What was the matter with
him?” 

“Everything,” Kapitan Kurt admitted. “He wasn't getting the recognition
he deserved as a painter and Eva Braun, his girlfriend, was threatening 
to reveal the intimate inside the Fuhrer Bunker stories. Tell the world 
about the shouting and screaming and biting the carpet stuff. The whole 
thing got too much for him.” 

“Well couldn't he have gone to someone for help?” 

“Not really. You see, they were amongst the first to go up against the
wall when he came to power. So he just started taking it out on 
others.” 

“On millions of others.” 

“Oh alright!” snapped Kapitan Kurt crossly. “Millions of others.”
Suddenly the Kapitan's pleasant manner changed and he looked like his 
old sadistic self again. “You little shit!” he said savagely, slamming 
his fist on to the desk. 

Roger jumped. 

“Sorry, did I startle you?” Kapitan Kurt sneered. 

“A bit.” 

“I was just killing a fly,” he explained, flicking it from the desk.
“Sorry.” Roger swallowed and nodded. 

“Look,” Kapitan Kurt went on, “let's forget about Hitler. After all
you're supposed to be here to answer questions.” 

He pressed a button on the desk and Rolf and Herman reappeared. 

“And if you don't answer the questions,” Kapitan Kurt went on, “you
won't win any prizes in this weeks edition of BLACK-JACK-BOOTS!!” he 
yelled, jumping up and throwing out his arms in a little Jimmy Mormon 
type gesture. 

“BLACK-JACK-BOOTS!!” echoed Rolf and Herman, grinning and clapping. 

Roger frowned. “Black jackboots? What's--” 

“BLACK-JACK-BOOTS!!” echoed Rolf and Herman. 

Roger cringed. “What is it then?” 

“It's a Quiz Show!” Kapitan Kurt explained excitedly. “And you're on it!
Take him to the next room!” he ordered. 

With great gentleness, Rolf and Herman grabbed Roger by an arm each,
lifted him off his chair, dragged him across the room and threw him 
next door. 


Tweet