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A Midsummer's day nightmare (standard:humor, 899 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Aug 12 2012Views/Reads: 1225/742Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I am not sure who invented summer vacation but I think they deserve a Nobel Peace Prize. Every year is worth the intense strain when there is a summer vacation to look forward to.

I am not sure who invented summer vacation but I think they deserve a
Nobel Peace Prize. Every year is worth the intense strain when there is 
a summer vacation to look forward to. 

Ah, summer vacation. The freedom of not having anything to do. No
schedule in my face. No appointments frustrating me. Just an agenda of 
fun and more fun and don't forget the eating. 

Both the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and me got up early to begin
the drive to the airport to take us to our vacation location. I was so 
full of energy I could not sit still. It was then that I broke into 
singing, comfortably off key, a Carpenter's song much to the agitation 
of my wife. 

"We've only just begun, White lace and promises, A kiss for luck and
we're on our way." 

All my wife could do was stare at me.  Finally, she said, "You sure are
excited. I've never seen you so excited. Are you sure you're all 

I could not have been more all righter. 

All I could think of was a week before me surrounded by grandchildren I
have not seen for over a year. 

"How old is...?" I went through all the grandchildren. It is easy to
forget how old kids are because every year their age changes. When you 
get to be my age, it is hard to keep up with all of these changes. 

A week of stuffing them with all the candy I could carry. Taking them
out to a restaurant and showing them the proper use of the drinking 
straw and the fine art of a spitball battle. After all, it is a 
grandfather's solemn duty to teach his grandchildren the fine art of 
shenaniganism. Where else are they going to learn it? Their 
grandmother? I don't think so. 

We finally arrived at the airport, parked our car, and proceeded to the
check-in counter. I am not sure my feet touched the ground, so excited 
was I to get on our way. 

"Slow down," my wife pleaded. "I can't keep up with you." 

We finally arrived at the check-in counter with our baggage and one of
the attendants asked me a simple question. I hate it when people ask me 
a question when I am in one of my silly moods. Believe me; I was in one 
of my silliest silly moods at this time. 

"Sir," the attendant asked me very seriously, "do you have anything
perishable or flammable in your luggage?" 

With silliness smeared all over my mug I said, "I sure do. I got a Bible
in there and it is Dyn-O-Mite." And, I had the audacity to smile very 

Then it happened. 

Someone said, "Did he say dynamite? Where's the dynamite?" 

The attendant said, "He said the dynamite was in his briefcase." 

Suddenly, lights went on, buzzers began ringing, men in uniforms
surrounded me, and two grabbed and subdued me. In a few moments, the 
hazmat men arrived asking where the dynamite was. 

The man in charge pointed to my briefcase and said, "It's in the

They begin moving people away while the hazmat men came in to remove the
briefcase with the alleged dynamite. At this time, I was absolutely 
stunned. Every ounce of silliness had drained from my person and I knew 
I was about to go to jail. 

Finally, the senior security guard came and looked at me. "Where did you
say the dynamite was, sir?" 

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