I’m Too Smart to Be Stupid. (standard:humor, 905 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Jun 26 2023	Views/Reads: 314/168	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I'm going to commit myself to hearken unto some wise thinking to cover my shame.

After being married for over 50 years, my wife, The Gracious Mistress of
the Parsonage, knows more about me than I know about myself. At least, 
that's the perception I get from her actions. 

It must be true when she says something about me, and I won't challenge
her with anything she says. I have a Ph.D. (Pretty Hard Dude) in the 
husbandology field. I can take anything she throws at me. 

Recently we were watching TV, and the news had an outlandish story.
Looking at my wife, I said, "I sure hope I'm not that stupid." 

Of all the times to be stupid, I chose the right time. 

Looking at me, she said, "Well, my dear, my opinion is that you are too
smart to be that stupid." 

I did not think I heard what I heard, so I asked her to repeat it. 

"You heard me. You just want to hear it again," she said laughingly. 

It was just the beginning of a new chapter, and I wasn't sure where it
was going. 

One day this past week, we drove across town, and the traffic was rather
crazy. Cars were weaving in and out and racing down the street. Then a 
motorcycle passed, weaving in and out of the traffic. 

Looking at me, my wife smiled and said, "At least you're too smart to be
that stupid." 

With a nod of agreement, I smiled as we continued our journey. I'm not
sure what's happening, but that phrase is ringing in my head like no 
other phrase I've heard before. The fact that my wife of 50 years 
thinks I'm too smart to be stupid has to have some credibility. 

I've been thinking of ways to use this to my advantage. I've never had
such an advantage, so I need to be very careful about how to use it. 
For example, I need to be able to use it in such a way that The 
Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage doesn't recognize my advantage. 

I was smiling as I thought about this because I would have a great
victory if I could pull this one over on my wife. The problem is, if I 
do have this victory, how can I celebrate it without giving myself 
away? After all, she said I was too smart to be stupid. 

To process my plan, I needed to have her repeat what she said, so as we
were driving, I pointed to one driver and said, "I hope I'm not that 
stupid." 

"Remember what I said," she chuckled, "you're too smart to be that
stupid." 

Smilingly I thanked her, and we continued driving while I looked for
something stupid to call her attention. By the time we got to our 
destination, I had found about three incidences of stupidity, and for 
all three, I got her to tell me that she thought I was too smart to be 
that stupid. 

I can't relay how wonderful it was to hear that phrase. I need to be
able to develop more ways in which to hear her say that without showing 
my hand. I don't often get compliments like this, so I will try to plan 
it out carefully. 

Just before we got home, we saw someone doing something more crazy than
I had ever seen. Not thinking too much, I said, "I hope I'm not that 
crazy." 

Smiling at me, she said, "My dear, I said you were too smart to be
stupid but not crazy." 

At the time, I didn't quite understand what she was saying, but as I
thought about it, I was concerned about what she thought I was doing 
that was crazy. Now if I was in my right mind, and believe me, I have 
no mind left, I would ask her what she meant by being crazy. 



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