So This Is Old Age (standard:humor, 907 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Jul 30 2023	Views/Reads: 275/152	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
What I take away from this is, when I keep silent about my age there other things that are going to give away my secret.

The other morning I got up; at least, I tried to get up, but the bones
in every part of my body had organized a labor strike against me. I'm 
not quite sure what they were protesting. 

As I lay there groaning over these bones, I did not realize how many
bones I had in my body. I'm sure some bones in my body shouldn't be 
there, and I'll have to ask my mother how they got there. The only 
problem is, she's in a nursing home with dementia. 

If I thought my bones were creaking when I was lying in bed, the bones
were screaming a lot louder as I rolled over and got up. 

If I only knew what they wanted, I could help them. 

As I wobbled out to the kitchen, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage
some and said, “Well, old man. What's it like getting old?” 

Even at this stage in life, my mind is active, and I had a very quirky
response to that question, but fortunately for me, I did remember not 
to mention it. 

I wobbled over to the table and sat down for breakfast. 

After breakfast, I went to my office with a fresh cup of coffee, sat in
my chair, and rambled through my mind. 

This got me thinking about my grandfather. I now understand why he
walked the way he walked. If only he were alive now, I could walk along 
with him. 

I now regret all those years of making fun of him and my father as they
get old. At the time, I never thought in a million years I would get as 
old as they were. But time has a way of changing your opinion about 
many things. 

My wife came to the door of my office and said, “Do you remember your
doctor's appointment for today?” 

I didn't, so I got out my planner, and right there it was in plain
sight, in my own handwriting, my doctor's appointment for 10 o'clock. 
Jotting things down in your planner so you don't forget something is 
great, but my problem is I forget to look at the planner. 

Maybe this is the reason my bones were creaking this morning. They
didn't want me to see the doctor because they knew I would tell him 
about my creaking bones, and he might do something about it. 

I recently had a birthday and not sure which one because, throughout my
life, I have had so many birthdays that it's hard to keep up. But this 
year, that birthday was a landmark in achieving old age. 

I never knew what old age was, but now I'm beginning to comprehend it a
little bit more. 

At the doctor's, I complained to him about my creaking old bones and
asked what I could do. He looked at me, smiled an old doctor's smile, 
and said, “That's the benefit of getting old and not dying. Just 
exercise more, and it will all go away.” 

It was easy for him to say because he's not my age. I hope I live long
enough to see him when he is my age, so I can laugh at his creaking 
bones. 

As we drove home, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage looked over at
me and said, “Well, old man, what did the doctor have to say?” 

“He told me,” I said with a rather sour smirk, “that I need to eat more
Apple Fritters each day. That will take away the pain in my bones.” 

Looking at me and not smiling, she said, “For your information, we will
have broccoli for lunch today.”  Then she snickered one of her silly 
snickers. 

If only I could remember to forget certain things, I wouldn't get into
so much trouble. I just put on a fake smile, hoping she was joking. 


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