A New Pet (standard:humor, 1080 words)
Author: meesterking	Added: Aug 23 2001	Views/Reads: 3153/2051	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I wanted a kitten or a gerbil, not a stormtrooper called Nigel

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were any female stormtroopers. There are, but the electronic voiceboxes 
made all voices sound male. It led to embarrassing incidents in the 
locker room, when the stormtrooper you’d spent all shift flirting with 
turned out to be a bloke. 

I was growing to like Nigel, it could be fun living with him. None of my
friends had a stormtrooper. He could be a good icebreaker at parties, 
in the metaphorical and literal sense. If there was any blocks of ice 
that needed breaking, I’m sure that laser rifle would work wonders. He 
could be like Edward Scissorhands creating fantastic ice sculptures. 
Back to the point. Since he’s here I might as well make the most of it. 


I decided to take him for a walk and see what crazy madcap shenanigans
we could get up to. 

None as it happens, nothing even remotely amusing. At one point he hid
behind a bush a bearded man under 5ft tall walked past, I think it was 
an ewok flashback as Nigel started shouting ‘the little  ones, its a 
trap, we’re doomed.’ But he calmed down quickly when I took him home. 

When we got there, standing in the driveway were 10 or 12 stormtroopers
milling around, occasionally peering through my windows. One spotted us 
and stepped forward. He shook his head at Nigel who looked at the 
ground sheepishly. The officer in charge saluted me stiffly and 
introduced himself as NK-3419X, Nicky for short. He informed me in 
brisk legalise that under current galactic law Nigel had no grounds to 
sell himself as a pet and therefore the contract between me and him was 
null and void. 

Nigel was a deserter, he’d left his ship by pretending to pop our for a
pint of milk. When a week had gone by with no milk and no Nigel, a 
search party was assembled. They followed his ships vapour trail to 
earth and here they were. I watched as they marched down the drive, and 
shoved Nigel inside a small car. The other stormtroopers climbed in 
after him, and looking slightly cramped they drove off into the 
distance. 

I went back inside to email petluckydip.com and ask for a refund. 


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