NaNa (standard:horror, 7529 words)
Author: Melazar	Added: Nov 27 2001	Views/Reads: 3111/2406	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Ya say yer a loser and ya aint gotta job and have ta move in with yer sister? Well don't do it!

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

A strange calmness came over Bobby Lee, that of the doomed. 

He felt the pressure on his finger increase, as well as an unbearable
pressure on the top of his head; she was looking at him, waiting for an 
answer. She wouldn’t stop until she got it. The answer, not the finger 
bone 

Mustering all the courage and strength he could find, he raised his head
and slowly opened his eyes. “It wasn’t my fault!” There! He thought, I 
said it. You got your answer, now let me have it. Tell me how I never 
do anything right, I shouldn’t touch anything sharp, if I need help all 
I have to do is ask! 

She just smiled. “NaNa.” 

There it was. NaNa. The two syllable word  that could drive him to kill,
if he had any self confidence! Instead, he just closed his eyes and let 
her clean his finger and tell him that all he needed to do if he needed 
help was to ask for it, and that he knew he shouldn’t touch anything 
sharp cause he never did anything right in the first place and that she 
was only trying to help. 

He knew the whole speech as if it were permanently imbedded in his
brain, etched on his eyes to read at all times as a set of rules. 

He gave his usual, I knows,  to each rebuff, and promised to be more
careful in the future. He did regain his composure long enough for 
another “ It wasn’t my fault”, for which he got another “ NaNa”. 

After she had departed to celebrate her latest conquest, he was left to
lick the blood from his fingers. When he was finished, he decided he 
needed some fresh air. 

Grabbing his coat, and naturally  having trouble with it, ‘When it rains
it pours’, he snuck out before Sherly Red could notice the broken 
zipper and complain about his catching another cold and that she didn’t 
have the time to watch over him all the time. Damn! 

He decided to walk to the book store, who needs a drivers license
anyway, where he spent most of his time since he lost his job.  Nardy 
the owner, was about his only friend. Gave him discounts on the books  
he ordered, and a lotta the time right out gave him the book no one 
else would buy. Nardy said he got most of his books from estate sales, 
that they were usually old and too weird for most tastes. Except yours, 
and mine he would say. 

By the time he got to the store, he had almost forgotten about cutting
his finger and what his sister had said to him.....almost. 

He opened the door to the old book shop and got the same feeling as
always, ‘anything was possible here’. He could be the CEO of 
Transworld, a surgeon, or even a judge. The last one he dreamed of the 
most, caused he wished to sentence his sister to life plus two days, 
gotta make sure you know, in a Turkish prison for her crimes against 
humanity. 

Smiling to himself he went to find Nardy, and see what he had for him.
No greed here! 

He found Nardy in the back room as usual, uncrating boxes of the past,
present, and future, as he put it. 

“These books can show you what we did, are doing now, and what we could
do in the future, if we had the balls.” He always said this when he was 
in the mood to bullshit. Which by the way was always. It was hard to 
get a word in edgewise, but Bobby Lee didn’t care, cause it was 
interesting and Nardy always understood Bobby Lee. And gave advice! 

“Fuck her!” Nardy would say. 

“She’s my sister!” Bobby Lee would return. 

“Well somebody’s gotta do it. Might as well be you!” he’d say, “She’s
doin’ it to you. Turn about’s fair play.” 

Bobby Lee always grinned at this point and said, “Yeah, one-a-these
days! Pow! Right to the moon!” and they’d both laugh and look through 
the boxes and bullshit the day and night away. 

Nardy had gotten a rather large shipment in from a very old and large
estate back east. Once, they found a whole library of autographed first 
editions from the nineteenth century. That same shipment even had two 
of the same book, The adventures of Tom Sawyer, autographed, and in 
excellent condition. Nardy had mistakenly given Bobby Lee one in a 
bundle of books that he knew no one would want to read. It had taken 
weeks before Bobby Lee got the courage up to bring it back and tell 
Nardy he was sorry. Nardy had surprised him by telling him that he knew 
about it, and that it had been for his birthday! 

“Sides, one autographed books sells better than two in the same shop,
makes it rarer.” 

That was the day Bobby Lee and Nardy became very close, Bobby Lee woulda
done anything for Nardy. Nardy had even ordered a sealed glass case for 
Bobby Lee to display the book in, it was now Bobby Lee’s pride and joy, 
his only true possession since he’d moved in with his sister. Bobby Lee 
surpressed a shiver at the memory of asking her if he could move in for 
a week or so. That was two years, three months, and two weeks ago this 
Saturday. 

It was late, about nine o’clock before they got through the shipment.
Nardy and Bobby Lee had found most of the books would sell quite 
easily, only finding four books Bobby Lee could have for free. 

“Four for free, is four free.” Bobby Lee said thanking Nardy. 

He knew that it was cause Nardy was a friend and not out of pity that he
had given these books, Nardy knew that Bobby Lee always wanted his own 
library of books and was just helping him get it started. 

Just then, Nardy got that look that you get when you remember that
you’ve forgotten something but can’t remember what it is that you’ve 
forgotten. 

Scratching his head, he started walking around the store room looking at
nothing in particular and then again everything, you know, he was lost. 


Then he remembered what he’d forgotten to remember and took back the
stack of books he had just given Bobby Lee and said to wait right 
there, that he had another little something for him for being such a 
good customer. 

Bobby Lee amused himself in the store room checking out the titles that
had missed his attention earlier, there had been so many that each of 
them only saw half of what came out of the boxes. Nardy said he trusted 
Bobby Lee’s judgement when it came to choosing THE books that went up 
front for sale. 

There was another book he found which he wanted, but he knew he couldn’t
afford it. “Maybe for my next birthday”, he thought with a smile. 

“Here you go Bobby Lee.” Said Nardy from behind a tower of books in his
office. 

“Here’s the prize for being my,   ah.... Let’s say... one hundred
thousandth customer this week.” In his hands was a beautifully hand 
tooled leather book case. 

“Oh, I couldn’t!” Bobby Lee said while grabbing it and literally
drooling over the workmanship that went into it. It even had his name 
worked into it, along with designs he didn’t recognize, but at the same 
time seemed all too familiar. 

“Ah, go ahead.” Nardy said grinning from ear to ear, “Sides,” he
pointed, “Who else you know with the same name, Bobby Lee? Only another 
Bobby Lee would buy it.” Now he crossed his arms, Bobby Lee knew there 
was no winning now. 

“Guess you’ll just have to keep it now. I’d just have to throw it away
if you didn’t take it.” 

That was enough for Bobby Lee. He thanked Nardy for about the millionth
time before they noticed the time and Nardy had to lock up for the 
night. Nardy said to take good care of it, cause it was very special. 
Bobby Lee got the feeling that Nardy wasn’t talking about THE BOOK bag, 
but he didn’t care, and it didn’t matter. He was feeling so good he 
didn’t even feel the normal dread he always felt before going home to 
Sherly Red, Attila the Cunt. See, no animosity here. 

The walk home was great, the whole way home he caressed the case as if
it was virgin skin, taboo to touch and yet irresistible. He would  
never be able to pay Nardy back for this, but he’d try. 

When he got to the front of the house he went into stealth mode. On
tippy-toes, he snuck to the window by the front door and peeked inside. 
He was in luck! She was asleep on the couch, deep in the sleep any 
huntress goes into after devouring her prey. 

He had weeks before oiled the hinges on the front door for just such  an
occasion. After getting caught coming home after her appointed curfew 
he had paid with a double “NaNa” for taking the wrong bus home from 
shopping. He had vowed to himself that that wouldn’t happen  again, if 
he could help it. 

He tried the door, locked! Dammit. He didn’t have his key. “Bet she
knows it too....Bitch.” He tried to pick the lock with his library 
card, only succeeding in making it into a crumpled mess. In fact, he 
went through his entire wallet this way before he almost fell down 
laughing, his window! He almost yelled, he always kept it unlocked much 
to his sisters dislike, she trusted no one and felt there were perverts 
everywhere just waiting to get in her pants. 

His covert entrance into his bedroom went without a hitch, if without a
hitch meant only pulling down the curtain and killing just one plant. 
But Sherly Red didn’t wake up and that after all, was the main 
objective. 

He unpacked his new book bag, snuck into the kitchen to raid his Oreo
stash, poured himself a large mug-o-milk, then laid down for a night of 
past, present, and future. 

As always, selecting the first book was most important, and Bobby Lee
had his own tried and true method; the book with the oldest print date 
first. Tonight’s would be a hard choice, the books were all very old. 
The older the better, Bobby Lee liked the old ones best. 

He carefully lined them all up for the big test. The first one had a
date of nineteen-aught-and-three, quite old, but he had many others 
older. The second book was about traveling in the new west, Missouri. 
This one would probably be the oldest, it was printed in 
eighteen-twenty-two, Bobby Lee was excited over this one, the oldest 
yet! He almost stopped looking at the others, the was no way the others 
could be older, surely Nardy wouldn’t give him any before that point. 
Then something caught his attention, one of the books seemed out of 
place, much larger, and with the appearance of great age, yet, new at 
the same time. 

Bobby Lee picked up the book, it felt heavier than it’s size foretold,
and there was something else, something.... He couldn’t describe the 
feeling, but when he touched the cover it seemed to have a small 
electrical current running through it. 

Bobby Lee jumped and threw the book on the bed. Examining his fingers,
he found no damage, only the tingling, and that quickly subsided. 

“Wow!” he exclaimed. “What was that?” Reaching for the mug-o-milk, he
drained it in a single gulp and wiped his mouth with the back of his 
shirt sleeve, leaving a gooey Oreo and milk stain, “Shit! Sherly’ll 
have a fit.” He cussed under his breath when he noticed it. He just 
wanted to scream! 

“Why me?” he moaned as he held his head in his hands. 

He was mourning for his soon to be dead self when he felt the urge to
look at THAT book again. When he opened his eyes, he thought he saw a 
slight aura about it, but that disappeared after he blinked his eyes a 
couple times. 

“Must be seein’ things Bobby Lee”, he said shaking his head, “gotta get
a grip on yourself boy.” He said to the reflection in the mirror. The 
Bobby Lee in the mirror seemed to be looking at THE BOOK. He noticed 
THE BOOK at the same time, it had that glow again. This time it didn’t 
go away, and he saw the other Bobby Lee do something he didn’t 
understand, especially when you consider it was only a reflection and 
could only do what he did. It....moved! Right over to THE BOOK and 
opened it up! 

Bobby Lee almost yelled, but months of training had taught him to never,
ever yell when he was in the same house as Sherly Red. Never attract 
attention was his motto, and he never forgot it, though it never seemed 
to work. 

He tried to blink it away just as he did the aura around THE BOOK
before, but it didn’t help. There he was, watching Bobby Lee the 
reflection, reading that book! 

“Okay Bobby Lee. Don’t go and lose your cool, you musta fell asleep is
all.” He tried to convince himself. 

“Yeah. I feel asleep, and...and what?” he asked himself. “What’ya do
when you fall asleep and want to wake up?” he said looking around, 
never losing sight of his other self reading THE BOOK. 

He found what he was looking for, his lighter. “Okay Bobby Lee, this’ll
wake you up.” and he flicked it on and put the flame to his down turned 
palm. It hurt! 

“Sheeeiiiittt!” Bobby Lee cursed as he dropped the lighter and began
licking his palm. He cocked his head slowly to the right, “Okay boy,” 
he said to himself, “your gonna look on the bed and it’s just gonna be 
a pile of books.” Turning the rest of the way around, he saw a pile of 
books....and Bobby Lee smiling back at him with fire in his eyes! 

As Bobby Lee fell to the floor on his way to his very first faint, he
saw Bobby Lee-the-reflection was coming over to him with THE BOOK open. 
Just before the lights went out, he saw THE BOOK, it was being placed 
over his face, words aflame! He thought he was about to get his face 
burned off, but only felt a tingling feeling as he blacked out. 

Bang! Bang! Bang! 

“You going to sleep all day?!” 

“Ah...What? Oh, I, ah, yeah. I’ll be up in a minute.” Bobby Lee answered
his master, adding under his breath, “I’ll be out when I’m damned ready 
you bitch!” 

Rubbing the back of his head, he discovered he had a terrific headache,
that is to say it was a bad one compared to a good one, as if  any 
headache could be good. 

“Wow, that was some dream.” he said as he leaned his head back surveying
the room. It didn’t seem any different, no extra Bobby Lee’s or glowing 
books. 

“Must be all these old books I’ve been reading.” 

After getting the kinks out of his neck he headed for his morning
cup-a-coffee, cept this one don’t make you go to the bathroom 
afterwards. 

Walking across the floor he stepped on something that made him yelp and
grab his right foot. He tried to hop to the bed and hopped on something 
else with his left. Nothing to do but try and defy gravity. 

He didn’t. 

“Sheeeiiiittt! Ouch!” he yelled as he landed on something else with the
bottom of his backside, you know, his ass! 

Leaning over carefully, he reached for the cause of his pain. It came
out pretty easy and didn’t seem to have any blood on it, but it sure 
should have, it was a piece of glass, three pointed and sharp as a 
fanged tooth. 

“Jesus Christ! Where did that come from?” 

Looking around the room he saw a ring of glass, and in two places fresh
blood. Now he remembered his feet, they were bleeding! 

“Damn.” Was all he could say as he pulled the glass out of’em. “Gotta
get to the bathroom to clean’em” surmised Bobby Lee. Astute fellow, 
huh? 

He looked around for something to put on or walk on so he wouldn’t leave
the bloody evidence for ol’ Sherly Red to gloat over. 

Seeing nothin, he remembered what that big guy in the movies said that
always stuck in his mind, ”You gotta improvise, overcome, adapt!” 

Upon reciting this motivating speech to himself, he did the only thing
possible...he walked on his hands. 

“I made it! Yeah!” he shouted in a mock whispering sort of way so as not
to attract Sherly Red. “You gotta improvise, overcome, adapt!” 

As he sat on the toilet cleanin’ and bandagin’ his poor ol’ feets, he
looked back into the bedroom at the ring of glass. 

“What’in hells goin’ on here?” he said shaking his head. 

“Bet she’s gettin’ a real kick outta this. Jus cause I slept a little
late,” he checked his watch, seven-thirty, “she don’t have the right to 
go an cut my feet.” 

Seeing that his hands and feet were cleaned and bandaided, and his
rear-end properly checked for extra holes, he cautiously made his way 
back into the bedroom. He stopped just inside the doorway to survey the 
room for any other traps. 

What he saw didn’t make any sense, the glass was indeed in a circle, and
he also noticed a single cookie in six different places around the 
circle. 

“Now why’d she do that?” he asked himself because there wasn’t anyone
else around to ask. 

He looked more carefully around the room, this time noting more details;
one, he saw a sheet perfectly folded into a triangle laying by the bed, 
two, his glass of milk sittin on top of the sheet. When had he refilled 
it he wondered? Three, that old book was layin open on the desk with a 
note pad, and the pad seemed to have writing on it. 

Now ol’ Bobby Lee weren’t no fool by a long shot, these facts could only
mean one thing, “Well, looks like Sherly Red couldn’t a done this.” The 
boy shoulda been a brain surgeon. 

Bein’ careful not to step on the circle, he made his way to the desk. He
tried to stretch his neck to it’s limits to see what the pad had to 
say, well you know what I mean. He didn’t want to get too close too 
fast. What he saw was just like everything else, it didn’t make any 
sense. No one coulda got in the room, but the handwrittin’ wasn’t his. 
He was right-handed, and the writtin’ was left, “Hand-a-the-Devil.” 
Bobby Lee mused to himself, remembering the stories he’d been told as a 
kid. “Don’t you try and write that way,” his Sunday school teacher 
would say, “that there is the hand of the devil.” 

“Oh, Bobby Lee what’in hell....” He asked himself, and then tried to
pull the words back into his mouth. “Hell” he thought. 

His eye’s seemed to be drawn to THE BOOK. He didn’t want to look at it,
didn’t want to see what he knew was there. He couldn’t help himself. He 
turned slowly. What he saw scared the life outta him! It looked like a 
normal book. Well what’s more frightening, a book that looks like it’s 
straight out of hell, or a book that’s straight out of hell but looks 
like it’s straight outta THE BOOK store, fresh off the press? I rest my 
case. 

“Now you get a holda yourself Bobby Lee,” he said while he sat in the
chair, “there’s gotta be a logical explanation.” 

After a couple minutes, and still not coming up with a reasonable reason
for everything, he did the only thing he could, he had to reexamine all 
the evidence, starting with the note pad. 

Bobby Lee flicked his hand out for a quick tap on the pad, expecting
what he didn’t know, but all the same, better safe than sorry! After 
he’d assured himself that it wouldn’t shock or burn him, he felt 
stupid. Course this wasn’t anything new, but it felt even worse when 
there was no witness to something so stupid. 

“You're your own worst critic.” He thought. 

Picking up the pad at arms length, he started to read the scrawling. 

“Says here, that on page a hunnert an fifty-two,” he stopped to shoot a
quick glance at it then back at the pad, “that there’s a spell....a 
spell!” he threw the pad across the room. 

“I knew it!” he shouted, then stopped by shoving his fist halfway down
his throat. 

“I knew it. A god-damned devil book.” He sat quiet for a moment then
started giggling about what he’d just said. Course God would dam it, 
after all, it was the devil’s, or was it? 

Leaning over, he retrieved the pad, “How’d I know it’s a devil book?
Could be just a fantasy novel, a weirdo cookbook., maybe even a diet 
book for all I can tell.” 

He felt better now, it was just a book and this was just some sorta
sleep walkin that he musta done. Getting that outta the way, he decided 
to see what it was he did in his sleep that would make him trash the 
room and set traps for himself. 

Reading the rest of the note, he found that on page one hundred fifty
two of THE BOOK there was a spell that would enable someone to take 
care of a problem forever. 

“This is gettin better.” he thought. 

The note went on to say there were many ways to go about it, and that
there was a list on that page along with instructions. It also said 
follow to the letter. This last part was underlined with red ink. 

“Funny,” Bobby Lee thought, “don’t remember havin a red pen.” Bobby Lee
never liked the color red, reminded him of Sherly Red’s flammin’ hair. 

“Anyway, couldn’t hurt ta look at it.” So he reached for THE BOOK, and
just before he touched it he pulled his hand back with a jerk, like 
he’d shocked himself! 

“Breakfast!” he said nervously. 

“Always read better after I eat.....I’ll a... read it after I eat. Yep.
That’s what I’ll do.” 

It’s amazing the excuses you can come up with not to do something you
don’t want to do, when you really try that is. Like remembering that 
you haven’t picked up a long forgotten coat at the dry cleaners, or an 
overdue library book, even checking the employment office for a job as 
a brain surgeon. Yep, there’s all sorts of excuses for anything, but 
that’s not to say that’s what Bobby Lee did, no, these were actual real 
things that he’d put off for far too long and just had to be done 
today! 

It was later on that night when all his errands were done and he
couldn’t think of any others, at least any that still had places of 
business open at eleven thirty at night, that he reluctantly went home. 
Naturally the door was locked and there was Sherly Red, sleepin’ on the 
couch, “Problee dreamin’ of new ways to make me into  ‘A proper grown 
human male.’ He said to the frosting window. 

Seein’ the frost helped him remember that it was damned cold out there
and he should be gettin’ inside. 

Later, maybe twenty or thirty minutes, after a little outdoor cleanup
and shoe cleanin’, he decided that there weren’t any more warm reasons 
to put off entering the house of horrors. 

He strolled at a moderately slow pace, “Don’t want to break a leg on the
ice.” He said. 

Finally he came to his bedroom window. After assuring himself that
nothing was out of place, he slipped through the window into warmth. 

Ahh...that felt so good he fell asleep with his clothes on. 

It wasn’t the best sleep he’d ever had, he had dreams he’d rather not
had. It was the same old dream, but with a twist. In his usual night 
time horror flicks, he was caught by Sherly Red doing something stupid 
like brushing his teeth with heating rub. Where upon she would proceed 
to shake THAT finger at him and give him a ‘NaNa’, then tell him how 
useless and earthworm-like he was, all the while she would be soaping a 
washcloth up into a lather. 

It was at this time her left hand would sprout elongated and
talon-tipped fingers! She would pick him up by the neck with that hand, 
while still bantering away. After his feet were off the ground, he was 
always given enough time to see he wasn’t going to be able to pass out 
from her grip. He would just have to take it! 

When she was satisfied that he was suffocating just the right amount,
she would shove the soaped cloth into his mouth, saying, “Now maybe 
this’ll help you remember to read the tube next time. I don’t know why 
your such a wimp! Why, I don’t know what you’d do without me around, 
probably kill yourself with stupidity......” on and on she’d go, all 
the while washing harder and harder. When she was done with the mouth, 
she always kept right on going down the throat and right out his ass! 

It was at this point he always woke up in a sweat with a bad taste in
his mouth. 

But tonight’s was a different matter. Tonight he still brushed his teeth
with heating rub, but when Sherly Red appeared and started her part of 
the usual dream, Bobby Lee was standing in a circle of glass with 
cookies surrounding him. He watched as her fingers grew and she soaped 
the cloth, then he started reading something from THAT book. It was 
only a few words, but he didn’t catch them. When he finished, he just 
smiled and looked up at Sherly Red, she was ready for him, taloned 
fingers, soapy cloth, and poison tongue. 

“NaNa.” She said and shook her finger at him. 

Bang! Bang! Bang! The dream seemed to explode into a thousand pieces. 

“You going to make a habit of this?” a slightly perturbed voice from
beyond the door said. 

“Get up!” she shouted with another emphasizing bang on the door. “I’m
having company tonight, and I want you to clean the house....NOW!” 

Bobby Lee couldn’t take it anymore, he grabbed the nearest thing he
could, THE BOOK, and threw it at the door! 

He must have a headache, cause when THE BOOK hit the door, it seemed to
make a sound like an airplane crash. It was terribly loud, and he 
couldn’t understand why he hadn’t gotten another round from Sherly Red 
about it. He decided that he needed more sleep. 

He had the same altered dreams, over and over, but now there was
another, this of a time when no Sherly Red’s roamed the world. 
Oh...what a glorious dream! Truly in all history, never was there a 
dream as fantastic as this! A dream so grand that the dreamer would 
wish never again to awaken, but instead, pass into a coma throughout 
the remainder of his lifetime. 

In this dream Bobby Lee saw himself a scholar, a man of confidence and
stature. One of whom others looked to for advice and friendship. He was 
the CEO of the largest literary company in the world, a lawyer and 
maker of laws to protect those that couldn’t protect themselves, and 
his crowning glory, he brought into law...the Anti-NaNa law. This law 
meant the instant and horribly painful execution of any who uttered the 
perversion. 

This wonderful dream was always preceded and followed by the other
altered one. It kept returning like an omen, a message that wasn’t 
quite clear, a forgotten memory. Always the same, always ending before 
he saw the finish, the outcome of the unintelligibly uttered words from 
THE BOOK. 

So much did this mystery nag at him, that it woke him from his peaceful
slumber into a consciousness like he could never remember. 

Jaw set, determination at full throttle, he retrieved THE BOOK and
opened it directly to page one hundred and fifty two, there he saw a 
curious list of words, yet they seemed to indicate names. 

The names were odd, but at the same time made a lot  of sense, and thus
gave insight into where the book came from. Straight out of Hell, and 
it didn’t even matter now. The lure of the dream was too strong....he 
wanted it! 

He even began to chuckle at the names. It was a rather large list, names
such as Fuck You, Motherfucker, Hen pecked, Slime Lord, and Pea Brain. 

The list went on and on, then he saw what the nightmare had been trying
to tell him. Way down the list was a little two syllable word/name, 
NaNa! 

His heart raced, he nearly did a double back flip with a half twist, of
course he didn’t though, that would have probably killed him since he 
didn’t know what a double back flip with a half twist was, so it had to 
be dangerous! 

Reading the whole page, he found that all he needed to do was make a
ring of glass, representing the melted lands of Hell, and place at six 
locations around the ring, an offering that was listed beside each 
name, in this case OREO cookies! 

Now he knew the reason for the cookies. It was all so simple! 

The urge for the back flip came again, but with his new found strength
he easily fought it off. 

The whole thing was quite simple, one, he makes a ring of glass, two, he
was to put out the cookies, three, he was to sit in the middle of the 
ring for protection. This last part was most important, for any outside 
the ring at the time of invocation were subject to the summoned. Four, 
he had to choose the limerick which matched the gender of the problem, 
Five, he had to write the limerick in his own blood, then read the 
words, and at last, but not least, the problem, Sherly Red, was to 
quote the name. 

“This is gonna be so simple.” Bobby Lee squealed out loud as he hugged
himself. 

When he had calmed himself down, he set out to prepare for the cure. 

He of course had to have no witnesses. This part would be the easiest
and the one piece of the cure that he absolutely counted on. Sherly Red 
had given him an order to clean the house before her guests arrived, 
and this included her coming home early and unannounced, to survey the 
damage as she’d put it. This was just another way of getting a jab in 
on him. She knew he didn’t want to clean the house and would find and 
excuse not too. 

It’ll be at this point he’ll set his trap. No witnesses and they’ll be
alone.....for a few moments anyway. 

Bobby Lee heard the sound of Sherly Red’s old pinto pulling it’s rusted
body up the driveway. Glancing at the clock he saw what he’d expected, 
four-thirty on the nose, “Right on time as usual Sherly Red.” He 
chuckled as he fumbled for the blood smeared paper. 

He thought about that car as she finished pulling up, Sherly Red had had
another car at one time, a real nice one. She crashed it after he had 
driven it the one and only time she had allowed him, she swore he put a 
curse on it to kill her, which of course was absurd, he didn’t know how 
to put a curse on anyone, not that he wouldn’t, just couldn’t. 

The pinto she drove now began to rust out the very first day she got it,
the transmission chugged harder and harder each day, the engine 
sputtered, and the heater never worked at all. Sherly Red was so 
convinced that it was his doing, that she just kept the car rather than 
buying another and thus taking the chance Bobby Lee would curse it too! 


He didn’t know if it was true or just a coincidence, but he had indeed
cursed the car to get rid of her, but until today, he didn’t believe in 
such things. 

If the curse worked, he would become a true believer! 

A car door slammed, “You had better have that house cleaned, you
worthless hunk of slime!” 

The excitement was building as she put her key in the door, he’d left it
unlocked just to piss her off, she hated that. 

Bobby Lee knew the first thing she’d see was the open door of the bird
cage, then her eyes would be drawn to the jumbled living room. This 
he’d done to make it seem as though he’d tried to catch the bird and 
in-turn knocked over chairs and tables, literally destroying the house 
in his honest effort to recapture the bird which he of course 
innocently let loose in an attempt to clean the cage. 

She would believe this without question, he was after all, totally inept
and useless, besides...he’d done the same thing twice before, 
completely by accident, really! 

After drinking this all in, she would come after him with a vengeance,
fully intending to give him another piece of her mind. At the rate she 
gave him a piece of her mind, Bobby Lee calculated that she should have 
been a vegetable months, if not years ago, but he let the thought go. 
She would soon be looking for him, and Dr. Bobby Lee was ready with the 
cure. 

The door opened, and even two rooms away he could feel the heat she
radiated.....boy was she pissed! 

He knew she was taking in the bird cage now. Oh, what he wouldn’t give
to just once see her reaction to something like that, but he’d never 
had the courage to look. 

He heard the intake of hot steamy breath. The floor seemed to tremble
with her anger. Another shudder came...she’d seen the living room. 
Strike two! 

She’d stop a moment more as she decided if she would let Bobby Lee live
or kill him on the spot. Bobby Lee knew that she would decide on life, 
if for no other reason than that she could make his life more miserable 
and painful than any death. 

“Where are you, you fucking little worm!” 

He had never heard her talk like that, except in the dream. He decided
to increase her ire by staying mute. 

Doors were opened and then slammed shut as she made her way room to
room. Searching for Bobby Lee. She’d know from past history that he 
would hide to prolong the inevitable. 

He did a last minute check of all the trappings he’d set out. He’d
placed the bird on top of the cabinet where the glasses were stored, 
this so it would look as if he had tried to reach the bird and knocked 
the glasses onto the floor. The cookies were always stored in a jar on 
top of the cabinet where the bird now roosted. So logically, he’d 
knocked it over too while trying earnestly to recapture the bird. 

“Oh, what a planner you are Bobby Lee.” He said smiling evilly. 

The door slamming got closer and closer. He decided to let her know
where he was, “I’m in the kitchen.” He said pitifully, just as she’d 
expect. 

Sherly Red came stomping right into the room. She stopped the second she
saw the carnage of broken glass. 

Her eyes surveyed the room, taking in all the facts, this, so she could
tell him what he’d done wrong, you know, ammunition for her atomic 
barbs. 

She saw the bird, the broken glass, the broken jar of cookies, Bobby Lee
sitting in the middle of the broken glass, and his bleeding hand. 

Oh....she was going to enjoy this...for a moment anyway, Bobby Lee
thought. 

He’d made himself look pitiful, he’d pulled his shirt out, messed up his
hair, splashed water on his face and hair, for that sweaty look, and 
for the crowning touch, he’d let the cut on his finger drip helter 
skelter on the floor. 

“It’s not my fault!” he lied. 

“Oh, it’s never your fault!” she spat at him. 

“I tried to clean the cage and it just....” He never finished, he just
lowered his head and faded out his voice. It was then that he read the 
limerick. 

When he was done, it took only about two seconds, he’d practiced saying
it quickly, he looked up at her in his best shame-dog look, then raised 
his bleeding finger for her inspection. 

Bobby Lee almost came in his drawers, this was the moment, he could feel
those two little syllables building up. 

“Awh.....NaNa.” she said with the relish of what she was about to do. 

The lights began to flicker, a low rumble came from the basement, and
Bobby Lee just sat there smiling at Sherly Red. 

Seeing the smile on his face, she almost exploded in anger. 

“What are you smiling at you piece of shit?!” she cursed. 

Then there was an explosion, just like in the dream, only this time it
didn’t fade away as it always had before. 

There, standing behind Sherly Red was the biggest, ugliest creature he’d
ever seen! 

Sherly Red was so angry with him she didn’t even notice. 

“I’m going to make your life hell you pea brained motherfucker!” she
yelled with all her strength. 

It was then she found out what was behind her, for a deep and
frightening voice also yelled, “No! Shut up you bitch!” 

She found she had no voice but was able to look around. Bobby Lee
thought she would die of fright, but true to form, she was too damned 
mean to die! She just stared. 

Looking at Bobby Lee, the demon-thing spoke, “You're lucky, since I’m
going to have to share this one with the big mouth,” he reached over 
and pinched out her tongue, “that she’s exceptionally, pardon the pun, 
Full of fire and Brimstone.” 

It was just then that two more of the ugliest demon’s he’d ever imagined
showed up to claim their prize! 

They spoke amongst themselves for a moment, then it turned into a fight!
From what Bobby Lee could gather, she was the best in decades, and each 
wanted her! 

Bobby Lee just concentrated on staying inside the circle as the house
buckled under the demon assault. He tried to keep his eyes off’em, but 
found he’d waited too long for this moment to happen. He was 
mesmerized, even when Sherly Red’s eyes pleaded with him. The terror in 
her eyes was truly the cure, he didn’t even mind that he had a house 
full of demons. 

Then the fighting seemed to go from assaulting each other to Sherly Red.
They each grabbed a piece of her  and tried to pry her away from the 
others. In the process, they tore her into three chunks! Bobby Lee 
worried about the blood, that would be hard to get rid of, but these 
were greedy little fuckers! Even the blood was taken, as it fell, it 
just seemed to evaporate into a hole in the floor which was appearing 
beneath her. 

Throughout the entire messy business, Sherly Red somehow didn’t die.
Just like in his dreams of her tormenting him, Bobby Lee thought. 

As quick as it began, the cure finished. There was a minor explosion,
then all trace of demons and Sherly Red were gone, that included her 
car which he went out to get rid of afterwards. The only reason he 
could come up with was it must have been cursed...Bobby Lee just 
smiled. 

It was two weeks later that the police gave up on the case of the
missing sister. Bobby Lee had been found innocent due to lack of 
evidence. There was also the interviews with the neighbors that gave a 
picture of a tormenting witch that was better left to her own wherever 
it was she disappeared. 

Bobby Lee had returned the book to his friend, who said he was sorry
about Sherly Red, but hoped that the book came in handy. They both had 
a good laugh. That over, they went to the back for a day of unpacking 
crates of old books. All was perfect. 

At about nine-thirty, Bobby Lee said his good-byes and left for his
newly Sherly Red free home. Now it was truly a home. 

His walk home was quite enjoyable, that is until he turned the corner by
the market. Here he stumbled into his old ex-boss. 

“Hey man, why don’t you watch what the fuck your doing!” Bobby Lee said
enjoying his newly found confidence. 

“Why don’t you watchout yourself....well, well, if it isn’t ol’ Bobby
Lee! Had any luck finding someone to hire a piece-a-shit motherfucker 
like yourself?” 

Bobby Lee just smiled, “Piece-a-shit motherfucker.” 

“You know, you aught to watch what you say to people. You never know
who’s listening.” Bobby Lee told the irate businessman as he walk off 
smiling. 


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