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|Turkey (standard:humor, 524 words)|
|Author: kendall thomas||Added: Nov 07 2002||Views/Reads: 1937/1||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|Man goes turkey hunting.|
Turkey By Twisted Wabbit Rocky had never hunted turkey in the fall, but he thought he would give it a try after listening to some of his buds talking about their experiences stalking the elusive bird during that season. It would be nice to get an old longbeard for Thanksgiving. And so, Rocky got out his 12 ga. Winchester Supreme loaded with number fives, his 6 in 1 Buck Gardner Duck call for kee-kees & his Primos “True Double” diaphragm for yells and purrs. Early on the following crisp morning, he set off for an oak ridge where he knew there were plenty of white acorns and a fresh spring and wide fields loaded with fox grape. It was a perfect spot for turkey. When he got there, he was thrilled to see scratch signs and droppings. This was goin' to be so easy. “Go ahead, make my day, Turkey,” Rocky said mimicking Clint Eastwood as he concealed himself in some tall grass with his back up against an old stump. Settled in, he took a couple of swallers of Jim Beam and a chew and began to feel right pleased with himself. Occasionally he would give a call on his diaphragm challenging gobblers to a fight. That would draw ‘em if anything would. Rocky chortled thinking how dumb turkeys were to fall for such a trick. And soon in the distance he heard what sounded like dog barks, but Rocky knew it was gobblers. They just sounded like that when they were far off. Rocky got his gun ready. They'd soon be com'n to investigate the new turkey on the block -- and Old Rocky Boy would be ready for'em. And sure ‘nough it wasn't long ‘fore Rocky heard leaves crunching, the sounds com'n steadily closer & closer. Rocky's heart began to pound in his chest. The fever of the hunt was upon him. But then something outright strange happened. Rocky heard the sound of a woman calling for help. It was an anguished, heart-rending plead born of utter desperation. It tore at Rocky's very soul. He jumped to his feet and set off running full tilt in the direction of the cries which were more anguished now than ever. The very devil himself must have the woman, Rocky thought. He would save her. How could he not? He must! He must! Rocky ran through the brairs; and he ran through the brambles; and he ran through places where a rabbit wouldn't go -- Then, snap! Something caught Rocky around the neck and jerked him violently upward, strangling him. As his body twitched about swinging back and forth a flock of turkeys came out of the bushes and gazed up at him. “Yuh, know, it never ceases to amaze me how dumb humans are,” an old gobbler said to another. “Can you imagine anyone being stupid enough to fall for a trick like that?” The old gobbler lifted a call to his beak and blew on it. “Help! Help! Help!” came the anguished, heart-rending cry of a woman in utter distress. Turkey feathers shook as tears of laughter streamed down their longbeards. fin Tweet
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