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Demon Bunny in the Garden (standard:humor, 793 words)
Author: Ira L. WhiteAdded: Jan 06 2003Views/Reads: 1966/1Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
The bunny was from Hell, I tell you! What could a gardener do to keep his crop from being decimated?

My wife and I lived in a house with a large back yard. Being an avid
gardener, I started a garden. Garden pests didn't concern me. Several 
stray cats had taken up residence under our house. I figured mice, 
moles, gophers and birds would be scared away from my garden or eaten 
and thus would pose no problem. I would only have to deal with insects. 
Life is wonderful! 

My daily routine was to wet down the soil so the seeds would sprout, go
to work, come home and water again. When I started this routine, I 
noticed a large black bunny watching me from a cage next door. I wasn't 
bothered. The bunny was caged and behind a wire fence. 

One morning I went out to water and saw radishes beginning to sprout. I
rejoiced loudly. A few days later the lettuce and beans began coming 
up. Again I rejoiced. Unfortunately, when I returned from work that 
day, I noticed that the entire garden had been mowed down! I stared 
suspiciously at the bunny cage next door where the black bunny was 
innocently chewing on his pellets. 

I replanted the vegetables that had been mercilessly mowed down. A few
days later my corn began to sprout. I cheered it on. Meanwhile I kept a 
sharp lookout for problems ahead. The corn was up two inches when the 
problems started again. Plants were disappearing daily! Then I found 
the rabbit tracks in the soft dirt next to one of the missing sprouts. 
I scoured the fence line for a way a bunny could get into the yard and 
found a hole where the gate was supposed to close tightly. I 
suspiciously spied on the bunny resting in its cage. I looked closely 
and saw the cage door was UN-latched. The bunny's ears went up as it 
turned its head toward me. The ears looked like horns and I could have 
sworn the bunny's eyes were red and glowing. 

Cursing under my breath, I went to speak with the neighbors. 

"We can't keep our rabbit from escaping," they said. 

"I won't guarantee the safety of your bunny should I find it in my
garden!" I exclaimed. 

I closed up the hole at my gate hoping for the best. 

The best didn't come, but the bunny did. It chewed through the board I
had put up to block the hole, ran down what was becoming a pathway to a 
bunny refrigerator full of bunny food and feasted on my garden. 

It was time to get tough. Remembering how to set a snare for rabbits
from my Boy Scout days, I set a trap at the bunny doorway to my garden 
using 50-LB test fishing line. When I checked the snare the next 
morning, I found that the trap had worked well, but the cursed rabbit 
had somehow freed itself. I looked up at a sound near the back of the 
house wondering where all the hungry alley cats were keeping themselves 
while that wretched rabbit ruined my garden. My question was soon 

Right before my eyes was a standoff that I have trouble believing to
this day. There was the big black bunny chewing unconcerned on some 
plants near the back porch. Sneaking up on him was a cat. 

"My problems are about to end!" I thought elatedly. 

The rabbit watched the cat with one eye. The cat crept forward. The
bunny stopped eating. Motionless, the cat stared at the rabbit from ten 
feet away. The rabbit stared back. Suddenly the cat took off on a dead 
run toward the rabbit. The rabbit charged the cat. "Get him!" I 
shouted, clearly in favor of the cat. The cat suddenly leaped, as did 
my heart in anticipation of the removal of this demon bunny. 

Surprisingly, the rabbit sprang to meet the alley cat in mid air. As the
bunny jumped, it brought its rear legs around landing them right under 
the cat's chin sending the feline cart wheeling backwards. The cat ran 
under the house with the rabbit in hot pursuit. All the cats that were 
currently under that house ran out like the devil was after them. It 
was at this moment that I decided that either I would have to leave 
offerings to the black demon or give up gardening all together. 

I made peace with the rabbit by raiding the back of a nearby grocery
store. In the trash I would find discards of vegetables not fit to 
sell. I purloined the best of these to leave at a small altar I placed 
next to the hole in my back fence. If I forgot my trip to the market, I 
always paid the devil his dues whether I wanted to or not. 


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