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|Tormenting Alex (standard:humor, 825 words)|
|Author: Pitter Pat||Added: Jan 20 2003||Views/Reads: 2368/1||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|The story of a small dog who enjoys tormenting a bigger dog named Alex.|
My name is Shorty. I'm a short brown dog - my people weren't very original when they decided to name me about eleven years ago. I am their second dog, a dumb cocker spaniel arrived about a week before I did and the little girl named him Alexander Handsome. What a horrible name for such an ugly dog. I'd be so ashamed to have that name if I were him. The little boy did me proud, he gave me a simple name that described me, though Shorty Handsome would have been a better description. Life hasn't been dull living Alex. Alex thinks I am the greatest dog alive. He follows me everywhere and trusts me with his life – his first two mistakes. You see, when I get bored, Alex is my prime source of amusement. He is almost completely blind making my missions to torment him very easy. In our younger days, I found it very annoying to have Alex follow me everywhere. “How can I get him to leave me alone?” I wondered. One warm and sunny day I wanted to go outside and sit in the sun alone, but no, Alex had to follow me. I told him I wanted to be alone. That should have been a good enough warning, but the dumb dog didn't listen. He followed me outside so I began “Operation Ditch Alex”. I started running in the yard and true to form, Alex ran right behind me following my every step. I circled the yard several times, and Alex happily followed behind me, ears flapping in the wind, not a care in the world. After a while I started to get tired, so I ran straight toward a tall stack of cement blocks at top speed, then veered left just in time to keep from running into them. Alex, who was right behind me, didn't notice I had turned until it was too late. The plan worked! He smacked into the cement bricks at top speed! Crack! “Ouch! That had to hurt,” I thought, so turned to check if he was still conscience. The hardheaded dog was standing there in a total daze. “The dumb dog deserved it,” I thought, extremely proud that my mission had worked, and found a quiet spot in the sunshine to lie down. My master, who had been sitting at the picnic table watching us run, didn't find my little trick amusing. She leaped up and quickly ran to see if Alex was ok. He was, of course, the dumb hardheaded cocker spaniel only had a headache. He got babied the rest of the day and I got scolded and had to stay in the house. It wasn't fair; I should have been praised for such a brilliant plan. Most dogs would have learned something from “Operation Ditch Alex”, but not Alex. I have enjoyed running him into the garage, the car, the house, the trees, and yes, the stack of cement brick again. “Operation Ditch Alex”, works every time. We are older now, and my little shenanigans are much milder. Today I pulled off the perfect crime – I am so proud of myself! It almost failed, but I made my master laugh so hard I had the little extra time needed to make it work. I call it, “Operation hotdog”. Every week the master's children and grandchildren come for supper and every week she cooks the little ones hotdogs. She is not fond of eating the leftover hotdogs, so every Sunday after the people have eaten Alex and I receive a leftover hotdog. People are creatures of habit just like dogs. She gives me mine first, and I take it to the rug to eat it. She then lays Alex's hotdog next to his paw, making sure he knows where it is. Tonight I received my hotdog, but instead of taking it to the rug I hesitated a minute. She laid Alex's hotdog by his paw saying, “Here you go Alex,” and walked back to the table to put away the rest of the food. Before Alex figured out exactly where the hotdog was, I ran past him grabbing his hotdog in my mouth, and headed for the rug. I ran for a few feet with two hotdogs sticking out of my mouth like fat cigars, which made my master laugh. Knowing I had been caught, I got scared and one of the hotdogs dropped from my mouth. I was about to abort the mission, but noticed my master and her family were laughing, that gave me plenty of time to get the first hotdog to the rug, run back and grab the second hotdog, and return to the rug to enjoy my double treat. My plan worked! No one was mad because they thought my mission was funny. Alex was given another hotdog, but I didn't mind. I had two. Yeppie! I wonder if “Operation hotdog” will work again next Sunday... Tweet
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