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unGod (standard:poetry, 500 words)
Author: bodhisattvaAdded: Feb 09 2003Views/Reads: 3151/1951Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
An unidealistic bout with suicide.
 



Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story


My life and my death 

Inside this cage I love. 

I feel the ground shake 

I see the omnipotent eye 

Barreling 

Barreling 

Barreling down the rails 

Promising me vengeance 

Redemption 

Forgiveness 

Promising me eternity 

At the cost of 

Momentary suffering 

Eternity unfolded into 

Common knowledge 

At the cost of 

Momentary suffering 

The gain for pain 

The power of forever 

By standing still 

Allowing this God 

To teach me mortality 

To make me infinity 

To allow me security 

Thousands of tons of steel 

Masquerading as the hand of God 

Masquerading as the touch of Death 

Masquerading 

Masquerading 

Masquerading as my liberator. 

I feel the smoke 

The eternal smoke of forever 

Brushing my cheek 

Invading my face 

Blinding me 

Showing me life 

If I can only stand still 

If I can only follow through 

If I can 

If I can 

If I can die 

I can know 

I can know 

I can know. 

Blood rushes 

Neurons fire 

Carrying the same message 

Redemption 

Redemption 

Carrying the same words 

Forgiveness 

Love 

Forever 

I feel my blood grow cold 

I feel my mind ablaze 

Fifteen years in this forsaken place 

Fifteen minutes was enough. 

Eternity becomes finite 

When you can see your own death 

Immortality is a promise 

Death has made 

One hundred miles an hour 

Death is making me this promise 

The train jerks and I hear 

Immortality 

Afterlife 

Heaven 

A plume of smoke reads 

Love 

I feel the train 

The stones at my feet 

Keep me upright 

The smoke in my eyes 

Keeps me alert 

The despair in my heart 

Keeps me determined 

Determined to finish 

Determined to end infinity. 

Angels haunt my dreams 

The earth shakes 

With my impending destruction 

And angels haunt my dreams 

Demons offer me love 

Cherishing my soul 

The train nearing 

Clamoring for me to run 

Move 

Demons screaming in my mind 

Promising me everything 

Acceptance 

Love 

Hope 

Freedom 

Acceptance 

Promising me every desire 

At the cost of a soul 

At the cost of being immobile 

Promise me static. 

Rusted iron spikes 

Binding 

Restraining 

Rusted iron spikes in my hands 

Stigmata 

Bleeding 

Painting the ground 

Feeding the static 

Feeding the demons 

Feeding the angels. 

A pale horse approaches 

Breathing smoke 

Barreling towards me 

Screaming 

Churning 

A pale horse approaches 

The fire burns 

Death is near 

Impact 

Desolation 

Destruction 

A pale horse passes 

And hell follows. 


   


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