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Let's Play Jeopardy! (standard:humor, 626 words)
Author: kathygAdded: Feb 04 2004Views/Reads: 2334/1249Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Welcome to Jeopardy! The game where regular Joes and politicians get to match wits...(in your dreams...)

Alex Trebek:  "Welcome to Jeopardy. Let's meet our contestants,
beginning with Frostbite Falls Mayor and Russian defector, Boris 

Boris:  "Hello Alex. Remember "fearless leader" is watching." 

Alex: "Who is "fearless leader?" 

Boris: "If you not know who "fearless leader is, you betta watch it!" 

Alex: "I'm shaking in my boots, Boris." 

Boris: "Good. Fearless Leader likes shaking boots." 

Alex: "Let's get to know you a little better, Boris." 

Alex: "Boris, I understand you're having some problems with your budget
over there. Were you really off in your projections by $7.5 million 
last year, leaving a huge deficit compounded by more ridiculous revenue 
projections for 2004?" 

Boris:  "It's all just a misunderstanding. Huge grants will be arriving
any day now from dozens of Nigerian individuals I've been corresponding 
with by e-mail." 

Alex:  "I see. Our next guest is Bart Simpson, executive director of the
Mississippi River Joint Toll Bridge Commission. Bart, You've been under 
fire for secret meetings, drug running, accepting favors from 
prostitutes and vendors, deception about the purpose of your gigantic 
toll increase and now paying expensive consultants to train your 
workers to deceive the public with vague, evasive language. Your 

Bart: "Eat my shorts." 

Alex: "Now, be serious, Bart. My patience runs thin!" 

Bart: "Okay, okay. We are empowering our associates to leverage their
communicatory resources to maximize their ability to elucidate our 
objectives in an efficacious manner. Whewwww! Try saying that fast five 
times. I bet you can't Alex. If you can I'll eat my own shorts!!" 

Alex: "Some other time, Bart." 

Alex: "Money well spent, I see. And our third guest is President George
W. Bush. Mr. President, it's a thrill to have you here." 

George:  "Thank you, Alex.  I'm a big fan of your show. Where's Vanna?" 

Alex:  "Let's see our categories. They are: World Leaders, War and
Peace, The Economy, Plain Speaking and Action Figures. George, as 
leader of the Free World, you begin." 

George:  "Bring it on.  I'll take Action Figures for $40." 

Alex:  "Nemesis of He-Man."  BZZZ. "George." 

George:  "Who is Skeletor? Action Figures for $60." 

Alex:  "Elite force of GI Joe members diguised as..." BZZZ. "George." 

George:  "What are Spy Troops? Action Figures for $80." 

Alex:  "Optimus Primal is ...?" BZZZ. "George." 

George:  "What is Transformers Maximal?" 

Boris: "This is ridiculous. Did you brief the guy on the categories in

George:  "I've been collecting action figures for years. I use them to
act out many of our battle plans in the Oval Office before I authorize 

Vice President Dick Cheney entering the studio: "Mr. President, I don't

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