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Fucking Americans, Bloody Brits (standard:Satire, 646 words)
Author: JonboydubAdded: Feb 28 2004Views/Reads: 3075/0Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Born British, but raised American.I got screwed in a good way.?. Just a little something I made up as a possible political campaign. Like I said I think to bloody much!

THINKING TOO MUCH Fucking Americans and Bloody Brits! 

by Jonathan Pettus 

Imagine a British Citizen who has had the "American Culture" instilled
in him since he was three. Thankfully though he was able to keep an 
open mind. He comes home to England at 26 to find "freedom."  Knowing 
people look at image, he runs for office using his stupid American 
ways. Media jumps in! Saying to themselves this is different! Bloody 
American dude says to himself, “Media used the right way can be a good 
tool.” In our war we have no enemies he says! Suddenly a British Nobel 
is thinking that this gentleman must me just another one of those 
know-it-all hippie type. From fat and lazy America, and we are always 
right and we are going to rule all the oil, excuse me world, shit I 
mean peace. So I will just ignore the bloody American dude. British 
dude who is surprisingly American acting for some odd reason, Maybe as 
a result too narrow minded American mass media! Declines money saying 
that honesty will get you a lot further in life. Media loves it now! 

Headlines Read " The British "DUDE" is coming, The British "DUDE" is

...The Brits went to America and changed their names to Americans. Who
knows what happened after that?  Uhhh, American kids dads being killed 
for no reason! Society going to hell, oh well, sell, sell, sell, the 
American definition of freedom to the world. In a ray of hope a "dude" 
who claims too be British, but bloody well sounds American, turns the 
tables and leaves the land of opportunity to go home and.... 

Everyone is too blame is what we should say too ourselves and then no
one is to blame. (That's a brainteaser). With no one left too blame we 
can all finally work together! Not to find peace, but in everyone 
working together we are already there! Who can you kill, hurt, or not 
spend time with your kids, if we are all having fun together? 

People are astounded at the simplicity of the dude's statement, and
surprisingly how much sense it makes. The media blasts this "Shocking 
Revelation" to the public. The sheep pick up on it. Something happens 
though and this statement makes the sheep feel like people. Realization 
strikes their heart! I AM NOT A SHEEP, but dude I am your friend. 
Friends work, I mean love each other while just living life. What a 
great life, in a great world, with so many great friends! Helping to 
find answers too problems at their root, while being friends. This 
“Limey-Cracker” has a dream. Don't think that was stolen from anyone 
(salute, MLK), because just like the song says when you stop dreaming 
its time to die. This dude by the name of Jonathan is by no means ready 
to leave this war stricken world behind! I love life, and hopefully 
with the help of friends others will realize life is something to be 
lived not won. By the time your war is over, if it ever is, you might 
be dead? While you find out that your kids don't like you due to the 
fact that you were fighting for peace..?.?...So the trend goes on, and 
on, and on, and on, and on. (Hmmm, people do not fight. Spend time with 
kids, and here is the best part! Since they are with their kids they 
can not fight for the oil we so desperately need! For the planes they 
use for dropping bombs on people. Kids grow up with a loving respect 
for humanity! Sounds good on paper, but the "American reality" says it 
is cool to say that is corny) 

Freedom is just another word for nothing left too lose, and nothing
don't mean nothing honey if it ain't free. (Rock on Janice). Oh, well 
just a thought, peace.


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