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|Civilized! (standard:Satire, 1459 words)|
|Author: Jeff Webster||Added: Aug 03 2004||Views/Reads: 5218/1636||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|Americans love entertainment. This is a darkly satirical work about what might happen if we take that love too far.|
Civilized! The man had plastic hair. At least it looked like it. It was so perfectly sculpted and shaped it would be difficult to think how this man, standing here with suit and microphone, camera pointed at him, could have anything on his head but a blob of jet black plastic, shaped to look like some snazzy hairstyle. Anything for ratings, said the network executives. And ratings they had! The first season of "Civilized!" was a smash hit, the host and creators reaching unprecedented salaries because of their success. The network advertised, fought tooth and nail to get the primetime spot they wanted, and their work paid off well. They had the number one show on television. "And how does "Civilized!" make you feel?" The host had a winning smile on his face, straight from charm school. "Oh, by the power in me, I feel the people at "Civilized!" are doing the world a great service by taking these third-world savages and giving them a second chance!" This particular enthusiastic woman, now the subject of the focus of the camera, happened to catch every episode, just like her and everyone she knew, and most people that she didn't know. Mark was the name they gave him when they civilized him. He had never been given a name by his tribe, he was known by his face. There was no need for names, because there was no need for recognition. The tribe worked as a group to fight off the strangers that came and took their leader away, but failed, and now Mark was a TV star. Season Two was fast approaching, and much hubbub had arisen from the masses. Somewhere in the middle of it, the object of the first season was stuck in hiding. In thirteen quick weeks, Mark was taken, cleaned up, given a haircut and a shave, and (although it was with much difficulty, and lots of sedative drugs) taught him the English language. The finale resulted in Mark interviewing and landing a job at a big TV company. Rumor has it that Mark would be the producer of the second season, while others were mumbling that he'd have an appearance, maybe even play a major part in the second "civilization." Nobody suggested the rumor that the next time Mark would be seen on live television, he'd kill himself. Nobody thought he'd take that knife and ram it into his stomach again and again until he no longer had the strength to move. And, most of all, nobody expected to see the best television they had seen in years. "It completely took me by surprise! I don't think anyone was expecting that one! Whew! "Civilized!" just keeps dealing out the punches!" "Whatever could have compelled him to offer his life for our entertainment, I don't know. But it was an act of nobility and generosity I have never seen before." "Like, as soon as I saw the knife go in him the first time, I was shocked. The second time, I started dialing all my friends, making sure they were watching this." They were, of course. Everyone who was anyone was watching "Civilized!" every Thursday night, and in case one missed it (perhaps there was an untimely emergency that ripped one away from one's television), every Sunday morning and afternoon there were reruns. Now, it's just not the same, because everyone's been talking about what happened since Thursday, and once Sunday comes, one would already know all the surprises. The funeral was recorded, but never televised, as the network executives projected low amounts of viewers. Nobody wants to watch a funeral, they would rather just let the dead person be dead. Plus, the executives couldn't be bothered with that, they had an entire season of "Civilized!" to worry about. Her name was Allison. Not really, but that's what they called her after they pulled her away kicking and screaming from her husband and children back in South America. This time, the abduction was televised, Click here to read the rest of this story (92 more lines)
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