Senior Reunion Part III (standard:humor, 5195 words) [3/5] show all parts
Author: Hugh	Added: Sep 30 2004	Views/Reads: 2420/1641	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
More antics of the seniors on their reunion.

Chapter 5. 

The ferry captain came into the room and went up to the stage grabbing
the microphone. Ladies and gentlemen he said loudly through the 
microphone, we are having trouble with the ferry weight he said. We are 
overloaded and a storm is heading our way. So to even up the weight, 
would all the fat ladies please stay in the middle of the dance floor 
while they are stuffing their faces or jitterbugging around, its 
affecting the steering. I thought to myself if all the fat ones stand 
in the middle, the bottom of the ferry will fall out. 

Everyone listened and took in the warning. The filing clerk noted the
warning, and wrote down that the ferry captain shouted and was very 
rude, and filed it under water. 

As the crowd began to dance around two hundred ladies standing in the
middle of the dance floor with a big Mac in their mouths. The mood 
relaxed. I was nailed to Elizabeth's leg and we danced spinning around 
in circles. [Like you do when you post things on the board.] Around and 
around she spun, till the wood started to burn on the wooden dance 
floor. I remembered when I was a girl guide or went out with one, I 
can't remember which now, and we rubbed wood on wood. Soon we were both 
smoking from our legs up. 

Over came the filing clerk and said, have you got a fag to spare. No I
replied we don't smoke. Liar she replied. I saw you both smoking. She 
noted in down and filed it under smoke screen. 

Well I said to my nurse, listen we better sit down, as we are getting
shorter by the minute as our legs are burning away. I think you are 
right she said. We walked arm in arm to our table like Toulouse and Mrs 
Lautrec, when we got there we couldn't reach our chairs. Kevin was back 
on the floor for correcting the wine menu spelling mistakes, and so was 
victor for drinking it. Elizabeth and I pulled them over and piled them 
up, and climbed on our chairs. What are we going to do now she said, we 
have shrunk. I thought for a moment, and then saw the table legs. Don't 
worry I reassured her I have an idea. I climbed down from my high chair 
and turned the table over and removed three legs, they were square but 
it didn't matter as I had trousers on and she had a mini skirt on. Who 
would notice I thought. I got maintenance to send us some nails and a 
hammer and then hammered on three new ones, Elizabeth complained about 
the shape, but I pointed out that at least they matched, and were the 
same colour. Why do men bother I thought. 

After that we only danced the square dance. We had fun as you often do
on your first date. We went back to another table and sat down, there 
we saw the twins, hi I said, nice to meet you, I am new here as I 
changed my name again, and don't know you, this is Elizabeth the ships 
nurse. They held out there open hands, after putting their hand 
grenades into their pockets. And one said I am Ronnie, and this is 
Reggie. Well I was flattered to meet the krays at last; they were in 
the army with Ronnie Biggs for a couple of days. Or was it hours. 

Elizabeth asked me who they were and I told her they were members of our
friendship forum. She said Oh how nice; they look so innocent, yet not, 
just like a mystery. Are they Londoners like you micky she asked? Yes 
Liz I said they are Londoners. And they have bank business in 
Switzerland like the rest of us. 

I don't have bank business Elizabeth said, I am poor, so am I, I
reassured her, but tomorrow I may not be. She didn't understand what I 
meant as she is honest. But I know, skint today rich tomorrow. The dole 
is good pay if you moonlight as well. 

As dell boy used to say, this time next year we will be millionaires.
Another Londoner like the twins and me. We stick together out of 
loyalty I told her. That's nice micky she said, not many do. 

A commotion broke out, teddy had found out that his laptop had gone, he
called security. I went over to the Captain ST Bligh holding my nose 
tight shut, as he ponged even worse now, and said look captain; 
anything I tell you is private ok. Cross my heart he said I wouldn't 
say a word. Well I told him in his ear, the padre was in Teddies cabin 
earlier, but don't say anything he is a holy man. I didn't know if it 
would work because nobody grasses a holy man, but it was worth a try. 


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