Predictions To Live By (standard:adventure, 3125 words)
Author: Alpha43	Added: Apr 08 2005	Views/Reads: 3381/2171	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Sometimes you can be told more than you want to hear.

Predictions To Live By 

5:58 PM Saturday, October 13th 

“Please folks, I’m running late. Excuse me. Thank you. I’ll sign
autographs on my way out, but I’m supposed to be on the air in 2 
minutes. Excuse me. Please let me by, thanks.” 

The Bears suck! The Bears suck! 

Go Blue! Go Blue! Go Blue! 

Jordan will score 64 points tonight! 3rd round knockout for Sampson. LSU
by 4 points over Tulane. 

Eagles Number 1! Philly all the way! 

Once inside, the Director said “Christ Steve, straighten your tie and
get on the set, could you maybe get here 2 minutes sooner?” 

“I got a damn speeding ticket and then the cop wanted to talk draft
picks!” 

- - - 10 seconds to live broadcast. . . 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - go 

“Glad to have you with us Sports Fans, this is Chad Sterling in Chicago,
hope your team is a winner. You are the Big winner every time you join 
us at ESPD, keeping you up to date on sports, outdoor activities, and 
competition from around the world.” 

“Tonight we have late breaking baseball news; the season is over! That’s
absolutely fabulous news for Football fans, because we are well into 
the 6th week of the collegiate season. We will quit yanking your chain 
and get right down to the “X’s” and “O’s”; defense, defense, and more 
defense. All of the big powerhouse teams are thankful for a 2 point 
victory this year, parity at the University level is up and running. 
Gone are the days of 50+ point victories.” “We have a slew of upsets 
again today.” 

“We switch you now to Tom Troutman with his exclusive coverage of the
post game locker-room coach’s summary of Notre Dame’s 1 point lose to 
underdog Iowa. If you can’t stand a little foul language, you may want 
to turn the channel to ‘Andy of Mayberry.’ Bobby Flanders is NOT a 
happy camper and his team was aware of that as soon as he opened his 
mouth; take it away Tom!” 

- - - Cut! 

“I barely made it on the set I was so late. Have I got time to take a
leak, what’s the Notre Dame feed, 60 seconds?” 

2 ½ minutes, have at it Steve. 

“Thank God, I could have whizzed right over the boom mike.” 

Limping to the men’s room, Steve Bokowski, A.K.A. Chad Sterling to
millions of sports fans, mumbles and bitches all the way off the set. 

He severely twisted a knee 3 weeks earlier in a lunch hour “Non Contact”
football scrimmage and life has been less that sweet since then. He has 
been notified that his apartment building is going “Condo” and he has 
less than a month to find somewhere else to live. Packing up and 
dragging 4 years worth of trash and accumulation down 3 flights of 
stairs, loading trucks, unloading trucks, sorting and placing all that 
junk into a unit he has yet to lease, is not his idea of fun. 

Last week, Bonnie, Steve’s long time squeeze, required 6 Bloody Marys to
get up the nerve to loudly inform him that she didn’t mean for it to 
happen, but her heart and several of the other vital parts of her body 
have moved in a new direction, but she would like for her and Steve to 
remain friends. The crowd at Captain Charlie’s Crab House was 
thoroughly entertained! 

Today he just got a speeding ticket and was nearly late for “College
Game Day” on the Country’s most popular television sports program. 


Click here to read the rest of this story (302 more lines)