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|I Should Have Called You Dad (standard:poetry, 539 words)|
|Author: Kamea||Added: May 27 2005||Views/Reads: 1907/0||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|It's hard to come to grips with the reality of losing a loved one, when there are so many things you wished you could have said....|
"I Should Have Called You Dad" It seems that now you're gone, I live every day in fear. Your the only one close to me who's ever died, it's strange that your not here. You taught me so many things, you've been my Papa, since I was three, you raised me the best you could, you were always there for me. I know these past few years were hard, my teens, they were the worst, I said so many awful things, and looking back, I know they must have hurt. I was so angry at the time, I didn't mean those things I said. I thought I was trying to be independent, but I was just selfish instead. It seems so strange without you here, no phone calls just to check on me no collard greens from the garden anymore. I wish I could go back and change some things, if only I'd have known what life had in store. It seems that now you're gone, I live every day of my life in fear, of losing someone else close to me, I scared to let anyone else get near. I don't think I can handle it, if it ever happens again, it seems like it's not worth loving, if you have to live without them in the end. I've never felt such pain, my first broken heart, I thought that was as bad as it could get, you mended my heart back then, now your not here to do it. Why does God let us love, if in the end we lose it all, I need you so badly, but your not here to pick me up when I fall. Oh I know you would if you could, I don't doubt that one bit. But I just can't stop hurting, every night I cry til I'm sick. I always called you Papa, the regret it hurts so bad, I always called you Papa, when I should have called you Dad. Your first great grandson sleeps in the next room, I remember you were so excited when he arrived. You were going to teach him all the things you taught me, oh' the times to come you described! You were going to teach him to sing, to ride his bike, and be there when his first fish ever bit, he turned one this past Thursday, but you didn't get to be here for it. I'm so sorry for all the times he'll miss, with the greatest Papa that ever lived, but I'll show him all the things you would have, all the great gifts in life you had to give. I'm so sorry for the fights we had, I wish we could have had one more time to sit on the porch and just be together, but you'll always be my Papa, back then, right now, forever. Kamea *This is for my Grandpa who passed away five days before Christmas this past year, it was a hard fought battle, and I know you tried your best, but I guess God needed you more than we did, I know your smiling down on us, I'm going to miss your garden this year, I love you and I miss you.* *Lexie* Tweet
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