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|Donald Doesn't Drive (standard:humor, 9191 words)|
|Author: J.A. Aarntzen||Added: Oct 30 2005||Views/Reads: 2534/4858||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|After being bitten by a dog, a man decides to sue the dog's owners.|
DONALD DOESN'T DRIVE Donald doesn't drive anymore. His left leg had been amputated after the dog bite he had sustained became infected with gangrene. The dog doesn't live any more. The police saw to it after Donald's wife reported the incident. Stacey was part mastif and part dachshund. He was a funny looking canine that protected his yard from all trespassers. Donald had fit into this category in Stacey's eyes when he had come to spread the word of the Book of Mormon. Stacey was not a religious animal nor were his masters, Brian and Thelma Grodley. Stacey had spared the Grodleys the ordeal of listening to Donald's well-rehearsed testament of God spiel, unfortunately this had cost him his life. After ten days at the Humane Society shelter, it was determined that Stacey was rabies free and that the free veterinary clinic earlier that spring was not a waste of time for the Grodleys. It did cost them the fee for Stacey's destruction however. Donald thought that it was a waste of time to go tend to his wound at the emergency clinic despite the urgings of his children and his cohorts at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Had Donald been a Jehovah's Witness at the nearby Kingdon Hall instead he would not have had to be subjected to the advice given by fellow worshippers. But Donald was a Mormon through and through and he believed that a few well placed prayers would suffice in keeping him in health. He even said a prayer for Stacey and the Grodleys because that was the Christian thing to do. The Grodleys didn't feel anything Christian towards Donald. Donald's attorney, Adam Tray, discovered this when he served papers upon Brian and Thelma notifying them that a hefty lawsuit had been registered at the courts. Adam Tray also discovered that Stacey had been replaced with Chelsea, a purebread Rotweiler that the Grodleys adopted from the shelter the same day as Stacey's paw was shaved to facilitate the needle. Chelsea's disposition towards lawyers was akin to her predecessor's towards men spreading the good news. The Grodleys were not particularly fond of men or women who went to the bar. They decided that they were able to defend themselves in a civil court of law. Brian Grodley was fond of bars and especially the women who went to bars. This did not sit particularly well with Thelma who was always afraid that her husband would bring home some unwanted sexually transmitted disease from the bar. For this reason, she did not lay with him any longer. Her bed was not empty though because Stacey and then Chelsea found their night's sleep at the foot of the queen-sized mattress. Brian slept on the couch. This suited him fine for Thelma tended to snore and the dogs needed somewhere to sleep. When news spread that Donald's leg had become infected, Thelma's first thoughts were that Donald, too, must have found his comforts in the bars that her husband frequents. But this was far from the truth. Donald was not the type to partake in such activity. He found his calling in the book rather than the bottle. And had he went to the emergency clinic he would have been given a bottle of medicine that would have staved off the infection that would eventually cost him his leg. His leg had cost him a fair dollar to have it buried. It was there at the cemetary waiting for the rest of him to eventually join it in the afterlife. Donald often wondered how his leg was doing in heaven. Without a partner and a body, it might have found paradise to be a lonely place. Thelma did not find her backsplit home a lonely place on the nights Brian was lifting a few at the bar. She had Stacey and then Chelsea to keep her company. The lawyer, Adam Tray, worked for the company Baines, Baines and Baines. He was not a partner there. He was not even a junior partner. He had never done anything to move up the corporate ladder. In many respects he was the bane of Baines, Baines and Baines. He was just a lonely man in the firm and for this reason he felt a special empathy towards Donald's leg who was lonely in heaven. This leg was going to help him get up that corporate ladder with one big step. A large civil lawsuit would get him recognized. He would no longer be the ash Tray of the firm. Chelsea did not like Adam Tray from the moment she saw him. She knew lawyers when she saw them and like most human beings, this Rotweiler detested them. It was an attorney, Hugh Huygens, that had recommended Click here to read the rest of this story (753 more lines)
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