JOURNALS OF PHOENIX-I (standard:other, 922 words)
Author: Hope	Added: Mar 21 2006	Views/Reads: 2943/1961	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
the intellect and heart can sometimes show you a path you never expected.

“Each warrior of light contains within him the spark of God. His destiny
is to be with other warriors, but sometimes he will need to practice 
the art of sword alone; this is why, when he is apart from his 
companions, he behaves like a star. 

He lights up his allotted part of the universe and tries to point out
galaxies and worlds to all those who gaze up at the sky. 

The warrior's persistence will soon be rewarded. Gradually, other
warriors approach, and they join together to form constellations, each 
with their own symbols and mysteries.” 

Manual of the warrior of light Paulo Coelho 

12th April 12, 2005 

6 pm 

How many times can a person be reborn? 

I seem to have lost count. I die and the world doesn't even notice. The
same face the same body but a different soul each time. I died as a 
child, I died as a teenager, I died on my 21st birthday and now I think 
I am reborn at 23. The season has changed the numbness of winter has 
gone and the light of the sun shows me a new world. A world where I 
seem to be born to no parents, I have no family just a name for 
society. 

Today I sit in a house, which belongs to someone who is supposed to be
my father, the clothes I wear, the food I eat, and everything I know 
belongs to this man. But my soul still belongs to me... It has endured 
the harshest winter to the scintillating heat of summer. Seasons merely 
are the phases of life I have been through and there are so many more 
yet to come... 

I wonder sometimes if I could just flow like the afternoon wave, find my
place in the depths of the ocean. I would be one with the world and not 
stand-alone as I do right now. My mind is tired of thinking... but 
slowly I will achieve. I will not give up. These tests are hard. They 
crush my essence but I will not be so easily broken. I will find my 
place in the sky and guide people to help them find their way, as I do 
understand the meaning of being lost in the shadow... 

24th April 

One does become aware of the whole picture. I do realize I have a very
long way to go. I do not need to get hysterical about my life. I do not 
need to worry if I will make it. As I know if I exchange the hours of 
my life for what I truly desire I will have what I want. The sun is not 
burning my spirit but is now being the light in my darkness. I will 
find my way out. More like my way in to the real world. Where everyone 
works to achieve. I too will work to finally have my peace. I will sit 
on a beach one day in the near future and write my book, on life. Each 
day is bringing me closer to my destiny as only I have the power to 
create it. I have started the journey to self-discovery and with a 
little courage and faith in myself I will make it... 

24th June 

1:28 am 

I notice a world waiting for me to reach out and touch it. The yellow
streams of light like to touch my face and are pleading me to become a 
part of them. But I stand and stare at the bars of familiarity blocking 
the kindness and I ask why? 

Why would you not let me attain peace? 

The bars pretend like they cannot hear me. But my heart knows they can
but don't understand. After all I belong to them. 

My eyes start to water as I watch the light fading. The sound of the
ocean is only a beautiful memory. Out of reach, just a dream.... I keep 
standing there watching, wondering when will the day come when I would 
look back at the bars that have wounded my soul for as long as I can 


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