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WHEN THE GODS WALKED THE EARTH, part 1 (standard:humor, 6747 words) [1/2] show all parts
Author: siromahUpdated: Nov 15 2006Views/Reads: 1871/1167Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
This is draft 2 of the story. It modern version of the old Greek mithology.
 



WHEN THE GODS WALKED THE EARTH, part 1 

By Siromah 

Draft 2 

“Many, many years ago”, Dan said, “ when the gods on Mount Olympus
become overwhelmed with boredom, they would descend to Earth to hunt 
wild animals or have love affairs with humans. One day, a son was born 
to a mighty king.  So happy was the king he commanded celebrations 
kingdom-wide. For the ordinary folks, long wooden tables were set in 
the park by the palace. Gods, kings and nobles were invited to a feast 
in the throne-hall. Dozens of jugglers, lissome dancers, fire-eaters 
and jesters were invited to entertain the noble guests. Weeks before 
the banquet; kings with their retinues, noble knights with their pages, 
merchants rich, soldiers brave, adventurers, and folk of ordinary stock 
began to fill the greens with their tents. To the king's amazement, 
even decrepit deaf dotards would mount their donkeys, lash them with 
their whips, stripping off enough hide for nine pairs of sandals, and 
head for the party. “ Your Majesty,” the king financial adviser Diogen 
the Keg approached, bowing as much as the keg around him allowed.  
Diogen was a starving philosopher, king Tubby discovered on the beach 
of deserted Greek island. Actually the king was looking for Avichena, 
but the famous doctor was spending more times on Mount Olympus, than on 
Earth. “ What do you want?” the king hardly was holding his tummy, 
looking down at the man. Diogen was naked, except keg around his waist. 
“ Nothing,” Diogen scratched his bold head and added, “ just move out 
of the sun. You are making a shadow on me!” King Tubby laughed so hard, 
so he immediately offered the starving philosopher the job of personal 
advisor. Anyhow, back to our story. “ Your majesty, “ Diogen bowed, “ 
the hungry peasants are arriving like a vultures on carcass! We are 
running out of tables to put them on...” “ How many?” Diogen was 
practical man and instead of slave to take care of his records, he was 
using his keg as a notebook and calculator. “ Well,” he had to play the 
role of archeologist was trying his best to understand the scrambling 
on his keg. The rain half-washed the chalk and turned the writing of 
Diogen into unreadable Hieroglyphs. “ Hm, what I can see is only three 
“ 6”. His arm shook, when he showed the sky. “The number of the beast! 
It's the end of days! Its coming!” The king had to slap him few time, 
but he was like a statue of an overthrown dictator he didn't want to 
came down. Luckily king Tubby was in the Royal Sumo Wrestling Team and 
finally he was able to bring the philosopher on the ground. “ Shut up! 
Shut up or I will send you back on the island, where I found you!” 
Diogen remembered the misery on the island and fell in the front of the 
king. “ You father, you mother. Have a mercy on me!” He started to kiss 
his legs, even licked his big toe. The king fell something tickling him 
and his anger left him at once. “ So how many peasants arrived?” Diogen 
licked his dry lips, not knowing what to say. He run to the park 
(actually he was spinning inside his keg) crying as much as his vocal 
cord allowed him. “ Watch out. Coming trough. Watch outtt!” One 
stubborn nobleman didn't move out of the way and Diogen crushed into 
him, tearing apart his silk clothes. Luckily for Diogen his keg 
withhold the collusion. His luck finished here, because the nobleman 
grabbed him and dragged him to the court. “ Your Honor,” the nobleman 
started his offensive speech. His name was Note Shaver and his business 
was to lend money to poor people. “ This wretch here tore apart my 
holiday clothes. They cost 100 Gold pieces. “ The judge was an orderly 
man in the size of thumb. His name was Thumbolino and his head was 
sharp like a raiser. “ Well we will he whose fault is it! Tell me,” he 
asked Diogen, “ didn't you see the nobleman?” Diogen was silent like a 
fruitfully. “ Is he mute or something?” the judge asked. “ No, your 
honor. He was crying as loud as he could “ Watch out. Coming trough.” 
The judge laughed and dismissed the case.  Diogen run out like a 
Tasmanian devil and started to count the folk from the ordinary stock. 
Every time he saw a peasant, he moved aside a hair from his beard. 
After while he run out of hairs and he rolled back to the king. He 
tried to get inside the Amphitheater, but the two guards stop him. “ 
Only Avichena or the king are allowed here!” Avichena assembled a new 
diet for king Tubby. The king used a live gladiator as dummy. Of cost 
the gladiator sword and shield wasn't real (it was made for the 
theater) and it was holding just enough, so the king would burn the 
recommended calories. At the end king Tubby would stubbed the gladiator 
in the gold-bladder and collected all the gold that would pour out. “ 
So,” the king wiped out the blood from his blade.” What's the number?” 
Diogen asked himself if was for good that he accepted the job. “ Well,” 


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