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The bishop is coming and I can't cook (standard:humor, 331 words)
Author: kathygAdded: Dec 13 2006Views/Reads: 1889/0Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Colleen is in charge of the bizaare at St. Elizabeth's. She agrees to help bake pies for the honorary guest--Bishop O'Reilly. She calls for help but no one is "available". She takes on the challenge--Alone--only one catch--she can't cook!

The phones are ringing off the hook in the kitchen of St. Elizabeth's.
Colleen is alone because nobody wanted to help her with the bizarre. 
She is covered from head to toe with flour. She can't remember things 
very well anymore. Did she put the oven on and at what temperature? 
What is that recipe grandmother gave me for those wonderful blueberry 
pies?  The pies are part of a fund raiser at the church bizarre 
tomorrow night. 

Bishop O'Reilly  will be the honorary guest. This thought sends Colleen
into a frenzy. She has to bake 150 pies by tomorrow night. Is it 

She will soon find out. Grasping the flour with both arms, she lugs it
over to her work station and takes out the measuring cup and measures 
out two cups of flour per pie crust, ice cold water, butter and of 
course the blueberries, but they come later, or do they? She tries to 
remember her grandmother's recipe for flaky crust, but in her panic her 
mind goes blank. Colleen attempts to pour some flour from the bag but 
too much comes out. She adds the water to compensate and now she has a 
big mess on her hands. Mixing with her arms, not a spoon, mind you, she 
attempts to blend the ingredients.The mixture gets a strange texture to 
it. Not at all like pie dough... 

Uh oh... 

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph! If you have a shred of pity in your heart for a
poor fool, help me please! I can't cook!" 

She didn't see that right next to the flour bag was a bag of cement mix.


No wonder her arms got cemented in the dough. 

Only 18 hours until someone discovers her baking errors. 

What will Bishop O'Reilly think? Ah, heck does Colleen feel like a
dumbass now! She did have a great recipe for blueberry pie, but not to 
read the bag. Details! Details! 

I suppose it is time to become a Protestant. 


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