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Intergallactic School For Secretaries of Superior Intelligence and Wit (standard:humor, 2086 words)
Author: kathygAdded: Jul 28 2007Views/Reads: 1818/1071Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Would you "fit" in this wierd and crazy school..."blast" off and take this voyage along the Intergallactic highway to this strange school for secretaries!

The Intergallactic School for Secretaries of Superior Intelligence and

The Year is 2500. 

The Human Race is now part of the Intergalactic Educational System. 

If we are to compete in our galaxies, we must be well educated! 

"Come right on in, Miss Duncan. Have I got a school for you!", my
overzealous high school guidance counselor waved me into his office. 

I rolled my eyes, expecting the same old, same old stuff. You know, Ivy
towers. Catalogs filled with scenes of students sitting in the college 
square pondering the meaning of life. A spectacle of color in the 
autumn leaves of Princeton or Yale. 

I am not Princeton material. I thought. 

I was right. I wanted more. I didn't know exactly what until my
counselor interrupted my daydream. 

"Are you with me, Miss Duncan. I said I have something special for you
here. I think you are going to like it." 

He took out a brightly colored catalog from his bookcase and showed it
to me. 

I took the catalogue and paged through it, fascinated by its contents. I
could see myself traveling to another planet and adopting its culture. 
Most of all, I wanted to be the best secretary in the universe! 

Tears fell to my cheeks as I have found my answer. 

The Intergalactic School for Secretaries of Superior Intelligence and

My counselor suggested that I take a quick look at this unique school.
He knew that I wanted to not be "just a secretary" but the greatest 
secretary ever. This prestigious school for the very gifted and 
efficient of the cosmos was located on the Planet X in the Galaxy of 
Remarque Able. Only fifteen light years away from Earth, it would be a 
snap to get there. I had received a 2000 on my SAT's and my IQ was 
extremely high, my counselor strongly advised me to consider this 
school to start my glamorous secretarial career. 

I read the catalog with great interest and filled in the application
form quickly. Did I have the 200,000 galaxy tokens it took to get my 
place on the Shuttle? Not yet. Just a few more games of Space Asteroids 
and I will be there. I just have to defeat the King of Jupiter and 
laser his whole kingdom and the tokens are mine! I can do that this 
weekend. It should only take a few hours to finish him off. 

What language did I have to learn? I read through the catalog and
although they do speak English on Planet X, we as students would have 
to adopt the native language. It is a difficult language to learn, but 
I think I have the patience to master it. There are many consonant 
blends like "sh", "wh", and "bl" sounds and only a few vowels like "a, 
i, o, u and no " Y". " 

As a successful student of The Intergalactic School for Secretaries of
Superior Intelligence and Wit, my goal would be to increase my present 
typing speed of 200 words per minute to a fantastic 1000 words per 
minute. I would only use my clone double on sick days and bathroom 
breaks and if anyone had a problem with that, I would give them a shot 
with my handy, dandy laser gun. I call it the "Eliminator". It 
eliminates arguments. 

I decided to fill out the application in English. Translators were
readily available at the school and I was certain that if I followed 
the directions to the "letter", I would be accepted easily. 

A few weeks later, I received my acceptance letter. It was a happy day!
Now, I was on my way to be the most Superior Secretary in the Galaxy. I 
can't wait! 

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