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Five Rat Oriented Short Stories (standard:humor, 1995 words)
Author: Oscar RatAdded: Jun 18 2009Views/Reads: 1697/1132Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
For and about rats, but humans might like them.

I put together five short shorts.  Oscar Rat 

=========== Rogaine =========== 

Rhonda Rat's best friends were Suzy Squirrel and Betty Bunny.  While
Rhonda sat on a bench during the Cheese Dance, her friends had plenty 
of boyfriends and dances.  At a loss as to why, Rhonda noticed the nice 
furry tails on her friends.  That must be the reason, she figured.  She 
wished she had a pretty tail like theirs. 

Suzy's was long and hairy, and she took advantage by waving it wildly. 
Betty's tail was small and cute.  All the boys loved to rub it for 
luck.  Rhonda's was long, thin, and almost hairless.  Oh, how she 
dreamed of a furry, hairy tail for her very own. 

That night, the depressed little ratlet was watching television and saw
an ad for Rogaine.  She sent away for a tube and eagerly waited for the 
preparation.  When it came, Rhonda sat up all night, soaking her tail.  
It was cold and slimy stuff, and she got it all over her little bottom. 

For the next week, Rhonda carefully checked herself, waiting for the
promised lush growth.  True to the advertising, hair grew, and grew 
wildly.  But not on her tail. 

Her tail is still long and hairless, but she has the cutest little furry
bottom you ever saw, and the boys love to pet it. 

Oscar Rat 

=========== Looking for an apartment. =========== 

Oscar sold his first story to Rodent Quarterly. They paid him $30
dollars for it. 

“Now don't drink it up in one night,” I told him. “You owe Charlie for
all those pizzas, not to mention that Nancy needs a new pair of shoes 
for school.” 

“I got a better idea, Malodor, dear,” he said. “Lets move out of this
building. Now that I'm a famous published author, we can get a better 
apartment.” He grinned, I could never resist his grin, “there are too 
many humans and aardvarks living here.” 

Now, let me tell you, I wasn't very enthusiastic. I had to work for a
living while Oscar just pecked away at that computer. Why, his drinks 
alone cost me a day's labor. Even teenage Nancy, my niece, had to work 
part time to get her school supplies. 

Sure, the idea of a home with only rodents around us was tempting, but
how could we afford it?  Just because he sold one story doesn't mean 
he'd sell more. But, on the other hand, I never could resist that cute 
grin, with his whiskers curled up like that. And I didn't want to 
discourage the rat. He's like a big kid and needs guidance. 

"Uh ... Malodor.  Why don't we see a real estate agent downtown?  I, uh,
heard bad things about this place." 

"Don't be silly, Oscar.  This is as good an agent as any, and right
downstairs from where we live.  I'm not going all that way." 

"Listen, honey.  I see Jeff over there. I gotta see him about a story. 
Why don't I see you later. Okay?" 

Before I could stop him, he quickly tangled whiskers with me, and was
only a gray streak along the corridor.   Since we were in a basement 
hallway, right next to the RatSkellar bar, I knew where to find Oscar 
when I was done. 

Knowing chasing him was useless, I shrugged and entered the office,
finding a nice-looking young female squirrel sitting at a desk inside. 

“Now Ms. Skunk, you realize your boyfriend's potential is not much of an
asset -- even if he is the only virtual rat writer in the world.  
That's not much of a recommendation for a home loan.  Has he ever been 

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