|What happened To the Person That Collected Too Many Teddy Bears (standard:humor, 1001 words)|
|Author: Amy Buchanan||Added: Aug 14 2006||Views/Reads: 6201/1254||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|A story about how crazy an addiction can become.|
I will proceed to tell a story about a person who collected too many teddy bears. This person had a crazed addition of teddy bears. Every cute teddy bear she saw in a store, at a yard sale, and in a catalog she had to buy. She first placed them in her bedroom. This addition was not so horrible when room was found for the teddy bears. However, the entire house was soon covered. Every dresser, table, china cabinet, chair, shelf, and the sofa were festooned with bears of every shape, size, color, and texture. She then placed bears on wall shelves. Her bed became covered with bears and she had to sleep on the floor. She filled up the closets and the attic with bears. She then filled up the kitchen sink and the bathroom sink with bears. She was forced to brush her teeth in the bathtub and wash her dishes outside with a hose. At this time, which in my opinion was kind of late in this phase of her addiction, she had to seek help to conquer her teddy bear wishes. Therapy did not help the teddy bear craze. It was a command lodged in her brain, muscles, and in every nerve. The command was to have, to grab, and to go into seizures if every teddy bear was not sacrificed to her collecting desires. Her friends and relatives suggested she take a vacation to some exotic location where teddy bears did not exist. This suggestion made her more crazed so she tripled her efforts. She filled the bathtub with bears and had to shower in the basement. She then filled up the basement with bears. Then with cross-eyed bear spotted vision, she asked her friends and relatives if she could take a shower at their homes. They barred their doors to her cries. They decided to intervene and called for the white coats to come. She barred her door with a cement filled wall sized bear and blocked all the windows with suction cupped, stick out tongue bears. She then turned to the Internet for all her teddy bear needs and for sustenance. A talking bear was lodged on the porch steps that could only be removed by an explosion. Mail and packages were to be placed in the bear's mouth and gulped down to magically appear inside. She paid her bills and bought food, toiletries, cleaning supplies, and clothes over the Internet. She then covered all the floors with bears and hung them off the ceiling. How did she visit the bathroom? She bought a portable toilet and shower with a key chain attached and hung it off her belt. Bears popped up in drinking glasses and cereal bowls. Every saucepan and frying pan was filled with bears. The refrigerator and freezer chilled bears. She switched to eating only candy bars and packaged goods as the stove and microwave popped with bears. She grew to her chair and her eyes became permanently attached to the computer screen. The house at this time became three feet deep in bears. She placed an implant in her brain linked to her computer that followed her every thought. Soon bears were biting at her hands and swinging off her arms. Her legs were sucked off in bear quicksand. Her portable toilet and shower became stuffed with bears. I am not about to tell you how she solved her hygienic problems. Lets just say the flies were beginning to circle. Where were her friends and relatives? They were trying to raise the roof with a gigantic helicopter with a crane attached. When they arrived at the house, a gigantic blow up bear popped out and threw a gigantic beehive at the helicopter. Honey stuck to the blades. Gigantic toy bees stung the occupants of the helicopter with massive doses of sugar. It was later reported that four people were seen spinning around in circles around a crashed helicopter. They were scraping honey off the blades with graham crackers and toasting each other's health. More people arrived at the house and they attempted to tunnel to the basement through the sewer. There was a massive cave in and the poor souls were smothered with bears. Sewer workers wondered why teddy bears suddenly appeared in storm drains throughout town. By this time the addicted teddy bear collector was up to the neck in bears. Well addiction did not squeeze all thought out of her brain. Prior to this she had an oxygen tank strapped to her back that was powered by a satellite. Click here to read the rest of this story (25 more lines)
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