|ROGER'S FABULOUS VOYAGES, PART 3, CHAPTER 3. (standard:humor, 1939 words) [3/10] show all parts|
|Author: Danny Zil||Added: Jun 16 2012||Views/Reads: 1335/844||Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|Roger listens to Doris, Thropely and Stan reminiscing about life on Earth.|
THREE After dinner, everyone strolled back through to the lounge. Roger told them all that he was eventually heading to New Earth but nobody seemed keen on joining him. Thropely and Stan got out their pipes. Doris got out her knitting. Sir Ashley got out his head on more whisky. Fed, the alien travelling salesman, excused himself and went up to his room to masturbate or so he said but it was probably to read a good book. Thropely puffed away contentedly on his pipe for a few moments then frowned. “Who's that young lad there?” he asked, pointing his pipe at a young boy of about twelve. “That's Wilf,” Doris told him. “Our son.” Thropely raised an eyebrow. “Wondered why he were always eatin wi us,” he remarked. Roger glanced out the window. It was getting dark and heavy rain was falling. “Nip down t' corner shop an get us some pipe tobacco, young Wilf,” said Stan. Wilf's face fell and Roger felt sorry for him. ‘That's a bit much – sending a young boy out in weather like this,' he thought, glancing again at the rain. “But Stan,” bleated Wilf, “alien in shop always interferes wi me!” Roger's mouth dropped open. “That's nowt,” scoffed Thropely. “Ah can remember days when whole pit used t' interfere wi young lads like you!” “That's right, Thropely,” agreed Stan. “Young lad would come in for his first day an some o us would grab him. There he'd be, spread-eagled over coal cart wi half o backshift lined up t' paddle him!” “I say, didn't the parents complain!?” asked a shocked Roger. Thropely and Stan laughed. Doris cackled. “Aye they complained,” Thropely told him. “They used t' come up an say they'd charge us wi interferin wi minor.” “'But lad's not miner!' we'd say,” Stan explained, “'Lad's only apprentice miner!'” “That used t' throw 'em!” said Thropely. “Then they'd laugh an see funny side o incident. See it were just light-hearted prank by workin class t' take sting out o daily grind!” Roger frowned but decided against asking for an explanation. “Go on t' shop then, our Wilf,” Doris said. “An get us a nice brown loaf when yer there. Hidden brass band'll play ye there an back. Just like in old adverts on tv.” Grumbling, Wilf put on his cloth cap and left by the French windows. As he opened one, a brass band could be heard playing. The music stopped when he closed the window. “Aye them were grand days,” Thropely said and sighed. “Young lads these days don't know they're born.” “Just like foetus,” added Doris, “or still born babe. They don't know they're born either.” The others nodded knowingly. Sir Ashley nodded off. “Aye it's just not same nowadays,” Stan went on. “Youngsters don't have same disadvantages t' look forward to.” “That's right, Stan,” agreed Thropely. “Everythin's too secure. Even at Click here to read the rest of this story (263 more lines)
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