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Symptoms Of "I'm Just Ace Syndrome" (standard:non fiction, 1078 words)
Author: Red XIIIAdded: Dec 14 2002Views/Reads: 1982/1304Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Those annoying morons who think they can do what they want...My observations

The other day in my place of education (school) a rather short but wide
child pushed his way in through a door labelled “exit” and collided 
rather heavily with me. I immediately knew he was one of the many 
sufferers of ‘I'm Just Ace Syndrome.' 

There were several signs of this. Obviously the first sign is the fact
he went through the wrong door hoping to save a second or two (the door 
he should have used was right next to it!) even though he could see I 
was already mostly through it and the other door was clear. Now, unless 
I was having one of those invisible days, he must have done this in the 
hope that I would either let him through or that I was significantly 
lighter than he was and that he'd be able to push past me. 

The confidence some of the younger kids posses nowadays sickens me. I
remember when I was in the lower years at school we didn't try anything 
stupid like this to our elders. I don't know if it's true to say we 
respected them but we left them alone and didn't look for trouble. Just 
trying to barge through someone much taller and obviously senior is 
really quite stupid. This is the most serious symptom. 

Another sign of his ‘I'm Just Ace Syndrome' was his hair. People with
this condition often don't have any, but if they do it's usually hidden 
underneath way over-sized globs of gel, making it rock hard (hair 
wasn't meant to be like that!) and looking very greasy. Unfortunately 
this particular case was of the greasy variety, and his head came up to 
my face, just about. He looked very surprised when I refused to give 
way to him and carried on walking, so much so he very nearly lost his 
balance and tripped up over his own feet. The wide mouthed ‘HUH' 
expression. Why was he so surprised? 

However, he didn't give up. The moment he regained his balance he
shouted something rather obscure that didn't really make any sense, but 
this gave me yet another sign of his unfortunate condition – swearing 
excessively when not at all appropriate because he thinks it sounds 
‘cool an' 'ard. What's the point? Through observation normal people 
only swear to emphasize a point in a way that everyone will notice. 
Kind of a subtle shock technique. However, if you manage to get a 
normal conversation out of a  ‘I'm Just Ace Syndromed' person (not very 
likely) you are faced with the need for a translator to patiently 
filter out all the swearing for you so that you can pick out the actual 
meaning of the sentence. 

After uttering these ‘words' he tried to get around me while at the same
time giving me a challenging barge in my shoulder, which he could 
barely reach, so resulting in just moving my arm a little. Wow, he 
really proved something there. 

The mentality of being ‘cool' is one that I both can and cannot
understand. Some people want to get noticed as being ‘the best' and the 
‘hardest' there is. What they don't realise is that it's only certain 
animals that need to do this – in some species the male must prove to 
the female that he is worthy of mating with her, often by the means of 
fighting or simply keeping other males a bay – human beings don't need 
to do this! What's more, many of the people this refers to are too 
young to be thinking about mating yet anyway! 

I've noticed that these syndromed people generally wear expensive
clothing. Not expensive because of high quality, but because of the 
Name. The Name has a tremendous impact on their ‘coolness,' even though 
they are no higher quality than you could pick up in the market - or 
anywhere else - without that name for a fraction of the price. The poor 
parents of these children must surely realise they are wasting their 

Sufferers of this dreaded ‘I'm Just Ace Syndrome' are, as far as I can
tell, usually the opposite of their image. What I mean is, they appear 
to be really confident, not phased by anything and maybe even happy, 
but inside they are not. They do in fact behave the way they do because 
they are insecure and are afraid this will show. They do not want to 
appear weak in front of their fellow children and their peers. So they 
put on this strenuous act. When with their ‘mates' they are most likely 
quite tense, hoping their show of ‘coolness' is holding up. A very sad 
way to live. What they don't realise (or maybe they do?) is that nearly 
everyone else looks down on them as being weird, not ‘cool!' 

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