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Mind of the Weak (standard:humor, 432 words) [2/2] show all parts
Author: GreggoAdded: Feb 04 2003Views/Reads: 1415/0Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Day two:

Day two: 

It's still too early, check that, way too early to be awake. I even beat
the sun up, however I have been doing that a lot lately. It disturbs me 
firstly, that my eyes always have dark and sinister blotchy bags below 
them and secondly, the only television that is on at this hour are 
those slice-n-dice infomercials. I naively figured that once I 
purchased one of those dicers (which also came with two paring knives) 
that they would stop airing them. I assumed that if I bought a lousy 
food slicer, then their sales would go up 100% and they could all 
retire! Oops! 

At least I can watch CNN and see how my future workload has accumulated.
Nothing much though; more troop deployments and a new Hussein speech. I 
can't wait to join my brothers-in-arms. Did you realize that North 
Korea is recovering nuclear materials? Why? I couldn't imagine why. 
Maybe they hate Iraq too but I doubt that. Did you ever wonder why 
Canada has the bomb? I think that when I become a general I will invade 
Canada. I'll take my men and move in, just like Mel Gibson in We Were 
Soldiers. Come on, the Canadian military is less equipped than most 
high school football teams. It would a glorious new age for America and 
perhaps I could be an honorary governor or something with prestige... 
How hard would it be to assimilate thirty million people when they're 
already half-American anyway? 

The day is mine! I just departed the long bus-ride from the recruiting
office and now I am officially on my way to a career in warfare. The 
first thing that I noticed when I arrived was a poster stating : We 
want you! It was brilliant! I ended up writing a few standard tests 
that took some hours but I think it all went well. Now I just wait for 
my ship to come in. 

I've been thinking about things since I arrived back and I concluded
that I'm gonna celebrate tonight. Perhaps a few drinks down at the pub 
and stumble home, you know, the usual. I wish I could call some buddies 
to hang out with but it being a week night leaves it difficult to 
accomplish. Oh well, I'm gonna go to town down at the Roadside Pub and 
I've decided to meet me a woman. Why not? Now that I'm a career guy 
with a dazzling future ahead of me how can I not find a gorgeous female 
to fulfill the lonelier part of my life? I'm excited already! 


This is part 2 of a total of 2 parts.
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